Footballs and Princesses

Happy Valentine's Day!

2012-02-13T11:40:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day to all our special friends! We miss you! We hope this lovey-dovey day brings you closer to all the things you love. I will be giving my little bundles of sweetness extra hugs and kisses today.

The videos did not post in the order I had hoped. The first two are completely age appropriate humor and I apologize, but they thought they were really funny. Me, not so much. Please keep in mind, Maisy thought of both the heartfelt rhymes. Oh, my sweet girl!

Naked Knox

2012-02-06T14:14:00.001-08:00

He will do anything Bubby does.

While my back was turned he colored his hands instead of the paper.

Now that Knox is mostly potty-trained he refuses to wear pants. He is very aware of his "body parts" and wants "lulu out". He removes his pants as soon as you get them on and throws huge fits when he has to leave the house in them. Luckily he likes being outside enough that I can usually bribe him into them to play outside. But, other than that he has managed to give our 3 neighbor girls quite a lesson in the male anatomy.

To complicate things, Jeremy was in charge of buying the last package of pull-ups for bedtime and he bought pink Dora ones. With Knox being the third kid, Jeremy being a miser and me wanting to avoid another errand I don't have time for, neither one of us have any issues with his pink pull-ups. Again, the last kid is treated different. So, at home Knox is either naked or in a pink pull-up sleeping. Do you think any of this will come back to haunt us?

Mr. Knox is talking all the time. You can understand most of it. He is a copy cat with a great sense of what is funny or naughty. He gets way too many laughs for his "mean-ness" and is sure to be a complete maniac in any structured setting. Right now we are all just loving every minute with those naked buns!

SURPRISE!

2012-02-06T13:47:00.000-08:00

After some very guilt ridden "stories" and 3 weekends of previous celebrations, we finally pulled off Maisy's surprise party!

She requested a surprise party this year, along with a gymnastics membership for her birthday gift. "Your wish is my command, Your Highness" should be tattooed on my forehead. Pathetic, I know. But she got what she wanted...by the look on her face during and after the surprise you wouldn't know it though. She was like a deer in the headlights...confused, scared, completely unaware of what was happening. It was a priceless conversation afterwards though. She asked me if she was sleeping because she was so happy she thought she was dreaming. Sweet. I don't think she has enough worldly experience to understand the "pinch me" expression, but she was verbalizing it in her own way.

What I learned from this experience was that kids don't always need all the extravagance that we shower upon them. Not that we are living the high life on Legends Bluffs Court, but luckily our kids don't want for much. Since her party was late and in her mind not going to exist, after the initial conversation and tear I never heard another word about it. She was fine without a party. She wasn't emotionally scarred or rejected at school. She was absolutely completely fine. After further research I realized Carson didn't even remember his pool party I stressed over for his last birthday, so new official Smith rule...birthday parties on the even years only.

Sorry Knox! The baby does get the shaft sometimes, but you will be a better person because of it. (Or at least that is what we will tell you.)

Most importantly, my baby girl is getting older, wiser, and bigger by the day. There is nothing baby about her anymore. She is long and skinny with dimples that can melt your heart. She is officially six and trying out her sass whenever she can. She is thoughtful, loving, smart, creative, and funny. She is happy and terribly honest. She will confess her own mistakes so candidly you can't even get mad at her. She will also criticize your outfit choice, hair or belly fat openly too. While I love every ounce of that crazy kid, the thing I want to honor most about her right now is her ability to constantly surprise. So in that respect, the party was totally fitting. She continues to be a walking contradiction and surprises me all the time with her reactions, thoughts, and actions. She is a true individual. I love that strength I see in her. I pray it stays in her heart and mind forever. She is my Sister Belle and I cannot imagine this world without her.

Time Flies

2012-01-24T17:40:00.001-08:00

Funny girl!

Brothers and Buddies!

He loves his dragon towel!

Carson crashed bath time! This won't happen again. They are getting too big, but I had to get a picture to remember how happy they were in there together.

Knox is beginning to color...still working on putting it in the right places.

We are so busy right now that days, weeks, and months are flying by. Carson is playing football and basketball, with baseball practices weekly too. Maisy is playing soccer and doing gymnastics. Jeremy refs 2-3 nights a week. Knox is just along for the ride, and I am trying to keep my head above water and the laundry clean. We have something every night of the week, but Tuesdays. On Saturdays we have 2-3 ball games of some sort. CRAZY!

As I struggle through the hectic schedule that rules our lives, I try to still find the wonder in each day. It is super hard some times, but when I take 2 minutes to look at my beautiful babies I just fell so blessed. Carson is a wonderful brother to Knox. He helps with him and loves to play with him. In fact they are "playing" Wii right now. Probably Knox is pretending to play while Carson really does. Carson just finished chasing him all around and convincing him to play karate. Maisy is the most lively, spontaneous creature I have ever seen, but right now she is nestled up beside me watching television quietly. She just read beautifully to me and is very happy just chillin' with me. Knox is so funny right now. He is a total nudist. He loves to snack on treats, and he loves me so much right now, which I covet. He reminds us to pray at dinner every night and ends with a big "Amen". They are all so precious, as any child is. I just hate how quickly time is flying by. I hope I can look back on this crazy time and remember how wonderfully challenging and fun this adventure is with my family.

Christmas at Our House

2011-12-26T15:25:00.000-08:00

This was a crazy busy pre-Christmas, followed by a the most relaxing, lazy Christmas day ever. First of all, the kids and I had school through Thursday, Dec. 23rd. It was a long week! Then Friday we prepared for a Christmas party out our house. We had the cleaning lady, mattress delivery guys, furniture delivery guys, van trade guy from KC, and my parents arrived all that day, in addition to 3 over excited children running wild. It was a nuthouse! Jeremy and I were exhausted by 2:00, but had a good 12 hours of cleaning, cooking, and entertaining to go. We survived the party and had a great time with our friends. Our first night in our new, giant king bed was the best night's sleep! Merry Christmas to us!

We scraped ourselves out of bed early the next day still foggy from the party, but ready to have Christmas with my parents. We had breakfast and opened gifts with them, so they could head home. It was a very generous celebration, and honestly gifts could have stopped there. But, a mountain remained for Christmas Day. We had all the Smith gifts under our tree, in addition to our gifts. Santa still had to contribute the big ticket items later. We are a very fortunate family.

Christmas Eve was really peaceful. We cooked together, went to church, and settled in for a family movie. I was so tired. I kept dozing during the movie. Knox would yell, "Mommy, ake up!" I couldn't keep my eyes open. The kids had enough energy for all of us, but somehow managed to go to sleep. Jeremy and I took care of all the last minute details, and settled in for a long winter's nap. So tired again!

The kids made it until 7:00. Then Maisy came screaming into our room that she got her chair. They waited so patiently for us to get up and get downstairs for pictures and coffee. Santa brought Maisy the pampasan chair she wanted. Carson got a work bench, toolbox, and a miniature golf building set. Knox got a giant racetrack and play-doh set. He decided that he liked "Tanta Caus" after all that. We opened gifts for a long time, and the kids got so much I don't even think they really know who it all came from. Lucky, lucky kids. So fun!

While every holiday season brings a mixture of feelings and memories, it is a special time. A time to reflect, to hope, to love, and to appreciate all you have been given. This holiday was about family, traditions, and togetherness. Without the rest of our families around to take charge, we acted like the adults we really are and gave our kids a great Christmas...our way. Hopefully it will be one they remember with fondness. I know I will.

Old Girl

2011-12-10T16:33:00.000-08:00

11/1998-12/10/2011

Today was quite possibly one of the hardest days of our married life. As I type I realize the blessedness in that statement, but it doesn't make today any easier. After a rough couple of months, we decided to put Aspen to sleep. It was such a difficult decision. We scheduled the appointment two other times, but she always rallied for a day or two. Eventually we were counseled into sticking to our decision as the bad days were far out weighing the good days. And by good days I mean she actually got up and went to the bathroom outside on her own. She had lost a lot of weight recently and really gone down hill fast. Mentally she was still herself, which made today even worse.

We had the vet come to the house, which we thought was the best thing for her. Aspen always hated going to the vet and we didn't want her last moments to be filled with fear. Nothing could have made it any easier. Jeremy and I both held her as she drifted off to sleep. It was very peaceful. She was just the best dog.

As we have struggled through the last few hours, we have shared so many memories of our first baby. We both loved her fat little pink puppy belly. Jeremy especially loved her puppy breath, which I find really gross. We both loved how she would play fetch until she simply could not move. I remember so many times she dropped a soggy tennis ball into her bowl of water signalling she was done for the day. She loved being with us. I took her on so many walks, which really turned into her taking me on walks. Aspen was a such a pretty dog and so smart. We taught her all kinds of tricks, and I swear she understood what we said to her. She loved the kids, even at the end when she couldn't get away from them. Knox climbed all over her. Never did I worry that she would hurt any of them.

Aspen quite possibly was the world's best dog. She was kind, faithful, and fun. Aside from making dog hair afghans on my floor each summer, there is not one thing bad I can say about her. Our hearts have hurt for the last few weeks as we have watched her go. She will forever be part of our family though. I pray she is running around at the Golden Gate waiting faithfully for us to join her someday.

We will always love you, Old Girl.

So much to be thankful for...

2011-11-28T14:46:00.000-08:00

As we recover from another Tour of Missouri, I am reminded of just how lucky I am. I have so much to be thankful for, and it is nice to have a day to focus on just that. While my thankfulness might be a few days late, due to Black Friday shopping and traveling hassles, it has arrived. Better late than never.

I am most thankful for my 3 healthy children. They are happy, well adjusted, smart, funny little people. I feel they each have true potential to make the world a better place. Carson might be some type of inventor or engineer. Maisy has true medical potential. Knox...hmmm...something rough or funny or nudist in nature. :)

I am thankful for the health of those I love. The older I get the more I appreciate this. Peace of mind and sound body are priceless. Thank you for good genes and medical advancements.

Being employed is also a blessing. At a time when there seems to never be enough work for those that want it, I am ever mindful of "getting" to go to work. It isn't always easy getting out of bed before 5 and leaving my sleepy babies, but I hope my motivation and dedication seep into their inner being and give them strength to get going when they don't want to.

The more I learn about the world, and the more our little piece of it changes, I appreciate the freedoms I have been given here. I cannot imagine living any other way. Thank you for all of our freedoms.

I guess the real point is that I appreciate all I have been given. I have caught myself wondering how I could be so lucky a lot lately. I hope in some way I give back some of the goodness that has been given to me.

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T18:34:00.001-07:00

It was another great evening! The kids were super cute and good this year! It was fun getting them ready and taking pictures...no major fits or costume problems. Everyone was really happy! We went to the neighborhood parade and then trick-or-treating. Knox only made it to one house, and that was by force. He truly did not care for any of it. He kept saying, "Inside, Inside." He loves being outside, so I know he was truly unhappy. I don't know if it was all the commotion, costumes, or just being tired of his boots and hat. He just did not want to do it. When Maisy and Carson came home with their candy he really wanted a "treat". He had already bathed, so we put some silly glasses on with his pjs and went next door. He did say trick-or-treat once.

Carson was a show stopper with his original trashcan. He was so proud of his costume and crouched down on people's porches to pop out at them! So cute! Maisy was really cute in her little Spanish dancer/saloon girl outfit. Just great kids, great night, and great weather! Fun times!

We Bleed RED!

2011-10-25T17:16:00.000-07:00

The Royals never gave us much to cling to. I think it is fair to say we are Cardinals fans now!

Jeremy and I went to Game #2 last week. It was a great experience! A little drama surrounded the tickets, but once that got settled, we had a fun night. It was really chilly and standing room only. Unfortunately it was a low scoring game. We lost that game too. Jeremy marked another event off his Bucket List. We had a good time together cheering on our hometown team...such a feeling of community and pride. Very cool!

Warrior Dash!

2011-10-15T12:13:00.000-07:00

We survived! No wild animal attacks, insect bites, wanton behavior, or collapsing equipment! All of those things are mentioned in the waiver you sign prior to running, which is a little unnerving.

The dash today was so fun! Jeremy and I were both nervous going into the race. He was really concerned about his health, and is currently "sleeping it off". He said his body was "shutting down" a few minutes ago. He is so dramatic!

The terrain was rugged. The course was way out in the boonies. We ran the majority of the race through the woods. It was really rough footing with lots of roots, branches, hills and holes. Luckily it has not rained here recently, so everything was dry. With a good rain that course would have been deadly. The obstacles were harder than I expected. I don't like heights, so that was a mental challenge on a lot of them for me. There was a lot of climbing, balancing and jumping. 12 obstacles total, ending with the 30 ft cargo net, jumping fire, and mud pit. I will definitely do it again. Jury is still out on Jeremy...if he can get out of bed tomorrow, he might consider it.

PS-I beat him by 11 minutes....Just sayin'! :)

My Baby Isn't a Baby Anymore

2011-10-13T05:11:00.000-07:00

Knox is 2! My heart is so heavy today. I am so happy that he is healthy, smart, funny, and all those doting motherly things, but I am so sad too! It officially hit me today that I will never raise another baby. There are so many things I love about babies, especially my babies. Holding all that hope, promise, goodness, innocence, beauty, and wonder one perfectly designed little body is an amazing experience. Caring for them and loving them is priceless. I have thoroughly enjoyed every minute of having babies in my home and life. They have brought me to a place I dreamed of, but never fully understood. I still don't completely understand everything it means to be a mother. I do know that I am a better person because of it.

Knoxy, you have been a great baby! You are fun and happy, wild and bossy. You love to make people laugh and enjoy being naked or dirty. You adore your brother and sister, and I think you like me an awful lot too. Mommy always has to put you to bed. Daddy has really earned some points with you lately though, as he lets you stay up late and watch baseball when you are too scared of the "beep, beep" (smoke alarm) to go to bed. You love to read books and play cars. You like cowboys and animals. You are currently in a "nice/mean" phase where you look at characters' faces and tell us if they are nice or mean. You can be both...very nice or very mean. Rarely does a day go by that I am not hit or pinched by your little round hands. You pack quite a punch! At the same time, a day never goes by without you wanting to be held and kissed by Momma. You are struggling with being Momma's baby or big boy. I ask you daily and can never predict your response. I know some day soon baby won't be an option for you anymore. You will be too busy being big. But, no matter what, you will always be my baby. I love you, Big Boy!

A Busy September!

2011-10-09T10:41:00.000-07:00

He loves those horns! He wears them all the time. He even wants to sleep in them!

First tooth

My household spies! So funny!

Soccer star! She scored 3 goals in the last game!

Headed to the rodeo...

Time is flying by! I cannot believe it is already October! That is my biggest complaint about working with kids...time goes too fast! The work week is so hectic that it seems I blink my eyes and another weekend is over and we are staring another 5 days in the face. UGH!

It is Sunday now. This is my stress day. Preparing for the upcoming week while trying to recover from the last always does me in, not to mention trying to have a social life or attending kids' sports. It is truly a crazy time. I cannot imagine what it will be like in 5 years when Knox is involved too. We have created a stoplight to gauge my stress levels so everyone is aware of my mood. It works out pretty good to keep us all aware of my fragile mental state. Now they even say, "Mom, are you at a red yet?"

There were a few significant events that have gone "unblogged" lately. I just haven't had time. Something has to give, and blogging has been one of them.

1. Maisy lost her first tooth. I was completely unprepared for it, not that it was early, I just hadn't even started thinking about it. One day she came home and said her tooth felt funny. Sure enough it was loose. Four days later, she pulled it at school. She didn't even tell the teacher, a friend did. She obviously handled that trauma well. That night she was really nervous about the tooth fairy being in her room, which I thought was cute. She decided to put her tooth on her nightstand because she really didn't want to wake up while he/she was in there.

2. Knox has started using the potty. He is a long way from trained, but went most of the day yesterday in his big boy pants. I am just completely unmotivated to potty train him. I know he is ready though. Maybe over Christmas, if he doesn't teach himself before then. Poor Baby! Literally!

3. Jeremy and I celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary October 6th. It was a very special weekend. I used what little time and creativity I had to write Jeremy a heartfelt love letter confessing the 5 things I love most about him. I put a lot of heart into it, and he appreciated it. He surprised me with a really pretty ring, champagne and strawberries at the hotel. I got him a new tv for the basement. It felt so good to buy him something with MY money. It was special weekend. I am proud of who we are and how far we have come together. I hope the next ten years are as blessed as these have been.

Below are some random pictures of the kids. They are growing up so fast. I truly can't believe it. Carson is getting really big both physically and mentally. It is fun to talk to him. However, he dropped the dreaded, "I don't believe in Santa Claus." on me the other day. We haven't had a private moment to finish that conversation, so I will have to report on that later. My heart sunk at the thought though. Maisy continues to baffle me with her daily confessions. She has a conscience the size of Texas and impulse control of a typical 5 year old...tough combo. Her honest heart has her confiding tidbits of her kindergarten experience that most mothers never get the chance to hear. In fact, I will start a blog entry on those to document her soul torturing days. It really bothers me. She worries way too much and typically convinces herself that there is something wrong with herself or she is a bad person. She is so hard to figure out! Then there is Knox. He is finally talking! He is repeating everything. While it is not all clear, you can figure most of it out. My favorite things he says are macaroni, balloon, buns, raccoon, and moose. He is wild, rough, and funny. He LOVES being naked and outdoors. Again, another bad combo. My poor neighbor girls have seen more male anatomy via Knox than I care to think about. I cannot believe my baby is almost 2!

Little Copy-Cat

2011-09-16T15:33:00.001-07:00

Knox is a copy-cat! He loves to do what everyone else is doing, and he truly believes he can do it. It is so fun to watch him play and keep up with the big kids. As I type, Maisy has him dressed in her pool cover up, playing school. He loves it. Before that he was wrestling with Carson and Maisy jumping on the dog pile and growling. Actually, I don't know who loves it more...Knox or the big kids.

School is over! Knox just pulled the teacher's (Maison) hair. She is crying.

Funny side-note: Knox got his first pair of new tennis shoes the other day. He has worn hand-me-downs from Carson the rest of the time, but he LOVES his new shoes so much. It is so cute! He tells everyone "moke, moke" and holds up his foot. Then he takes off running with that one arm swing. He thinks smoke comes out of them because he runs so fast. So funny!

35 Years Young! (Putting a positive spin on things.)

2011-09-14T15:31:00.000-07:00

It was a sad day. 9-11 brings tears to my eyes every year. This year was especially rough with the 10 year anniversary. Each big birthday for me will be a big anniversary for New York too. I guess the good thing is that I can never feel bad about being older. I am here, surrounded by the people I love, living a great life. I have nothing to complain about. I know that. I am thankful for each moment in this crazy house with these wild children and chill husband. While each day poses little challenges, the journey is so fun!

Turning 35 has definitely made me feel older. It seems each morning the reality of my increasing age becomes more visible in the mirror. I am the perfect victim for anti-aging creams and rubs. All those years of sun loving are catching up with me. It also seems my body is getting older. Aches and pains are more frequent. Right now I am nursing a foot with no explanation for all this pain! I have decided I am not going to let this get to me. I have decided to fight aging with everything I've got. While I am sure it won't matter, it makes me feel better to think all the miles of running, hours at the gym, and wasted dollars on chemicals will do something.

My new reason for writing, especially about myself, is for Maisy. I hope some day when she is 35 and I am officially ancient, I can pull out these blog entries and relate to her as a woman, young mother, and friend. I would love to hear what my mom had to say about raising kids and living life when she was 35. She recounts a lot of stories, but I know a lot of the day to day gets lost with time. So, for you Maisy, I write.

Juggling family, work, and self is such a challenge. There is truly never enough time...not enough to clean the house, prepare for work, cuddle with your kids, or even run errands. I am constantly prioritizing necessity versus want, immediate versus things that can wait. The To Do list is endless. But, I am realizing that it is okay. I would love to clone myself just to be more efficient. By Fridays I am exhausted! I am happy though. I truly enjoy my job, feel like a happy mom, and am carving out small moments for myself. Working again has given me the ability to "let it go". It is still hard for me, but I am getting better at it and at delegating responsibility or asking for help.

Most importantly at 35 I feel Full. I have everything I could have ever wanted. 2 boys and a girl, a faithful, good husband, and friends and family that would be there for me when I needed them. My birthday wish is for you, Maisy Kay, I wish for you to feel your fullness at 35, whatever that might be for you.

I am Crying Inside My Head

2011-08-19T10:11:00.001-07:00

We love our neighbors!

How big is he? I can't believe it!

BFF!

My Sweet Girl!

We have almost survived our first week of kindergarten, three days actually, but who's counting? Besides Maisy that goes to bed crying at night...Needless to say, this was not the reaction to school I was anticipating. Leading up to the first day of school, all was well with Miss Maisy Kay. I was a pathetic mess, but she was really excited.

We laid out her clothes for the first week days in advance. We went and got a pedicure together. Jeremy even took Carson, Maisy, and the two neighbor girls to breakfast on the first day of school to make it extra special. (On a side note, I was super proud of my husband. He has been surprisingly helpful lately. Fingers crossed that it continues.) Maisy left in a super good mood I was told. No fear...just happiness to be getting on the bus.

When she dashed off the bus after school, I barely got any answers from her because she was so excited to play with her friends. It was bedtime before we got to have a really good conversation. Then she started crying. She said her teacher was stressed. I asked a lot of questions and finally found out that her teacher made a comment about "teaching being stressing". Also at some point that day, Maisy was telling a neighbor that there was a closer trashcan to throw her things away in next time, and her teacher said, "Excuse me, Maisy." This broke her heart. She should not have been talking at the same time as her teacher, but she was trying to be helpful. When I asked her how it made her feel, she said, "I was crying inside my head." Then I started crying, for real. It was a double blow. Of course as her mother my heart was breaking for my baby trying to figure out a new environment and being misunderstood and embarrassed. As a teacher, I felt bad too. I wondered how many kids I have redirected under totally innocent situations and left crying in their heads. Regardless, Maisy was really upset. I hope she gets over it soon. She has a lot of school left to be hating it already.

I feel like she is just frustrated by the rules and routine of school. I think she thought it would be an extended preschool. I am sure it is difficult for that little firecracker to hold the attitude in all day. No matter what, I adore her, and want nothing more than for her to love school and learning. I am just worried about my baby.

Jekyll & Hyde

2011-08-14T18:47:00.000-07:00

This is a completely stressful and crazy time with me returning to work and back to school events happening for two kiddos this year (more on that later), but I had to make time to put these two very different clips online of Knox. They showcase exactly what I am up against.

He is obsessed with praying, which is great. Every night at dinner he shakes his hand at each of us and says, "Pay, pay." We know he means pray and we all bow our heads. So sweet! It warms my heart and soul. I feel so blessed.
Then...and most frequently, he is brutally aggressive. It is more common to be met by a left hook than a hug. He pinches, tries to bite (But, he comes at you with his mouth open, so we can usually escape those.), punches-closed fist and all, kicks his chubby little legs at you, and pulls hair. He saves these moves for those of us he loves the most, so each of us here have been severely beaten at times. Sounds like a dream, huh?!?! As I am typing this I am wondering why I am having such a hard time going back to work.

Anyway, I have started a new approach with him. I remind him several times throughout the day what is a nice touch and what hurts. We had a little Q/A session tonight to test my progress. He definitely gets it! Notice the huge scab on his head from face planting in the street. He has fallen at least 10 times this weekend. Once out of our kitchen chair and several times off playground equipment. He scares me to death, but he is SO tough! I guess each kid just gets tougher or more neglected.

Birthday Bash!

2011-07-25T21:10:00.000-07:00

We had Carson's belated birthday party tonight from 7 to 9. It was the first and only BIG party he has ever had. We have always done house parties, because he is such a little home body. This year we had a pool party though. Carson wasn't quite sure about it when we were planning it, but when we got home he said it was the best party ever! He loved having the pool filled with all HIS friends. We all had a good time. We are fortunate that the parents of his friends are our friends. It makes these types of events even better for us.

I was a little stressed about the boys being rough in the water, but they were all really good. The lifeguards were cool to the kids, but stayed on them. Maisy had a few of her little friends there too, which was super fun for my little social butterfly. Knox was great too. He just gets shuffled around in all the chaos. I think he probably licked the icing off of at least 5 cupcakes. The two hours flew by. I hope Carson remembers this one...

This is what I will remember...

It was during a major heat wave. Today it was 90 and it felt nice. The pool water is almost so warm it feels gross to be in it. We have had no upstairs AC for a week, so we have been sleeping downstairs,so we know just how hot it has been, inside and out. The boys played Splash and fought over the rope on the sprinkler in the shallow end. Carson is saving his money for an I-touch I-pod, which he can buy now. His friends were incredibly generous! He is a lucky kid. He might have been doing chores for another 2 weeks to save enough. He is also really into Beyblades, which are these spinning tops that battle in a little stadium. Most importantly, Carson was really happy tonight. He was also very helpful getting ready for the party. He helped me ice cupcakes and count party favors 800 times to make sure we had enough. He also danced in public. :) I would love the good mood to continue.

To the Fence!

2011-07-15T21:05:00.001-07:00

Carson hit his first home run of the season tonight! It was a big hit to the center field fence. I found my camera in the nick of time and got a blurry version of it to share. Turn your volume down, because my screaming is extremely loud and annoying. The boys are in their first kid pitch tournament this weekend. We went 2-0 tonight, giving up only 1 run. Carson pitched the first game and struck out two.

It was a good night at the ballpark. Everyone stayed to play in the dirt afterwards. Knox had to have a bath in the park sink; he was so filthy. He loves the dirt! Since it was so late he fell asleep on the way home and went to bed without a real bath. Who knows what I will find in his hair tomorrow. Gross! Maisy Kay was happy as a lark running the bases too. Good times!

Eight is Enough!

2011-07-11T12:38:00.001-07:00

Hmmm...I think this is the start of something new. Carson is changing. He is really trying to assert himself as a big kid. At times he is thoughtful, kind, and affectionate. At others he can be just downright mean or uninterested in anything. Recently I have noticed that he is the best when given responsibility or "jobs" that he feels are grown-up. There is just still so much he is too young to do. For example, he wanted an I-touch Ipod for his birthday. Jeremy and I did not get him one, but have told him he can buy it with his own money. Luckily the money hasn't come easy, so he is actually going to have to work for it. Carson is a spender just like me. I can't wait to see if he holds out for it. He is only about $25.00 short, so a few weeks of chores and he can get it. We will see how dedicated he is. I don't think he needs one though.

Carson has always been easy for me to understand, until recently. It makes me sad. I know we are a lot alike, but he is getting a mouth on him that I never had. Parenting is just getting harder. I would happily take the physical exhaustion of babies over the mental anguish of older kids. Good or bad, he is still my baby, and I am very proud of him. Outside the house he is shy, kind, and happy. He loves sports, music, dancing, video games, staying home and building things. We got him a set of tools and he built a toolbox. He has a bird house to do too. He hates bugs, being hot, putting on sunscreen, broccoli, and tornadoes. At school Carson is a dream or so I am told. He is a rule follower and wants to please. Hopefully that won't change.

With every birthday I am shocked at how fast time has gone. He is eight, and I am old!

How Great Thou Art

2011-07-07T06:59:00.000-07:00

The world lost a great man last weekend. I struggle to find the words to express his passing. He was a man of conviction, honesty, and truth. He truly walked the talk. I respect his dedication to God, his family, and his heritage so much. Unfortunately those are not things I ever exactly said to him. I wrote it in cards and in a poem on his 80th birthday, so I feel he knew. I just wish I would have been mature enough to have had some of those conversations with him. Once you finally come to realize the wisdom your grandparents and parents possess, there never seems to be enough time to talk through it all. Life is so funny that way. As soon as you get a phase figured out, it is time to move on. Papaw had it all figured out. He knew what was important to him and stood by those beliefs.

Some memories that will stay with me forever are him walking on our old street in the country. He would always wave before he even knew who you were. It didn't matter to him. He was just that way. He always answered the phone, "Good evening, Reverend John Nichols speaking." Formal, respectful. After every basketball game in high school he waited for me. No matter how good or bad it was, he was proud. He always gave me a little cash too. It was really sweet. He was a faithful fan. I always loved how he would tease my grandma about her pictures. He would get so feisty about her taking another family photo. She would set the timer and run in. There are several with all of us laughing so hard at them. But, he loved her...more than anything. At his funeral, Maisy was sitting by my sister. We were in the pew behind them. When the solo How Great Thou Art was sang, she started singing, on her own, no prompting (I had even forgotten that she learned it at Bible school). So sweetly. It was a perfect moment. I hope he heard that. He was a great man, and part of him lives on in each of us.

Then sings my soul,

My Saviour God, to Thee,

How great Thou art!

Sis the Slugger!

2011-06-29T13:13:00.000-07:00

I love coaching Maisy's sports! The only problem is that I don't get all the good pictures and footage when I am out there with her. Baseball season is officially over for us. She did awesome! She made it all season without using the tee once. Granted, I am the pitcher, which is an advantage for her, but still she always got her hits. Fielding is a little boring at this age. It takes so long for kids to hit the ball that there is a lot of waiting, not to mention it is always hot. We baked on that field. She loved playing first base, and actually got some outs there. She would stare down the opponent after she tagged the base, almost daring them to come any closer. Funny! She has the same bobble-head look with a helmet on that Carson has. It almost looks like their heads might just topple off when they are running the bases. It makes me laugh so hard. I probably looked like that as a kid.

I truly think Maisy has some real potential to be a good athlete. We need to find the right sport though. She has done well at all of them, but soccer seems to be where her heart is right now. She knows she is good at that. She is super aggressive and that is the only sport where she can get in there and get physical. I guess that is one benefit to keeping up with a big mean brother. I won't be coaching soccer, so you can guarantee there will be some good clips this fall.

Hit, Pitch, and Run! Our Boy WON!!!

2011-06-20T21:43:00.000-07:00

What an exciting weekend! Carson participated in the Hit, Pitch, and Run contest at Busch Stadium on Saturday. He had won 2 other area competitions to make it there, and we were thrilled for him to have the opportunity be on the field at Busch. Of course, Jeremy and I were secretly dying for him to win too. We tried to keep those emotions in check, at least in front of Carson. My dad saw a few of my nervous outbursts, but there was no denying the pride in his family's eyes when they announced him as the winner. I thought my heart would explode. I guess that is what true happiness and pride feels like. I loved it. Carson was totally calm and collected the entire time. He was really nervous, but only we could tell. He pitched great to start off. He hit 3 of the 6 in the strike zone from 45 feet, which is a long way for a little guy to throw the ball. We had measured it off and practiced at home. It was a hard toss! Then was the hitting. He had a couple nice hits, a little off the tape, but good enough. Last they ran. He is surprisingly fast with those big feet. I guess it was enough to win. It was so nice to have family here to celebrate with us. Jeremy's parents, our niece and nephew, and my dad all made the trip. Carson felt really important. He continues to mention the competition in little comments, so I know it meant a lot to him. Now we just have to wait to hear if he did well enough to go to Phoenix for the All Star Game. We find out June 27th! We'll let you know!

Being the Baby...

2011-05-28T13:45:00.000-07:00

I have repeatedly admitted that I am now officially guilty of creating a typical "baby" of the family. Being a teacher, I have seen enough kids to be a true believer in birth order effects on personality. With just Carson and Maison I felt it was a fairly even treatment because he was our only boy and she our only girl. Enter Knox...we have a typical baby. Everything he does is funny. He refuses to talk, manages to always get his way, and at 19 months has a temper that flares without warning. He is spoiled rotten! But, he is also at the mercy of his bigger family members. You can see Maisy enjoys playing with him. She "tattooed" his face, dressed him in heels, and taught him how to ride the skateboard with her down the driveway. Carson adores him and dotes on him constantly. Jeremy likes that he has some meat on his bones compared to our other skeleton children. He loves to wrestle with him, even when Knox smacks his face or pulls his nose practically off. I am just clinging to whatever baby is left in my toddler. Since we have been home from Puerto Rico, he has been obsessed with my skin. I have termed it nursing flashbacks. He pulls up my sleeves and puts his cheek on my shoulder, or he pulls at my collar and presses his face to my chest. So sweet!

Will he ever grow out of this "baby-ness"?

I don't think so.

Puerto Rico-A Soggy Paradise

2011-05-27T11:57:00.001-07:00

It was a beautiful week! Tons of rain, but enough sun to come home tan, but not scorched. Believe it or not, I am a sunscreen addict now. Trying to redeem myself for years of bad skin choices. Jeremy and I had so much fun together. I think we both agree that time alone is essential, but too rare for us. That has been one of the only real regrets we have about being here. Grandparents are too far away! Thankfully Dennis and Debbie made the trip and stayed with the kids, adhering to our rigorous schedule and challenging eating habits. God love them! All went well here I was told, so hopefully that was really the case. I am beginning to believe we bring out the worst in our children. They seem so good under other circumstances.

Jeremy and I spent a lot of time just hanging out together, no big tourist excursions, other than to local eateries . We read, played games, swam, and enjoyed each other's company...a lot. While it was weird to have all that time to focus on nothing but ourselves, we managed to figure it out pretty quickly. We stayed up late, slept in, napped, took our time getting ready, tried new foods, and met new people. Santiago, our cab driver, was a favorite. Jeremy has even voiced an interest in learning Spanish, which he was constantly trying out on the locals. :) Rosetta Stone will be under the Christmas tree this year for Senor Smith. I went out on a limb and ate some authentic Puerto Rican foods. Rare for me...it was decent though. All in all, it was so nice to have time to reconnect with each other, and we came home excited to be Mom and Dad again.

Dinner at our House-Turn down your volume!

2011-05-03T07:11:00.000-07:00

Dinner together is really important to me. Or, it has been until recently. Right now it feels more like a three-ring circus than family time. This short video doesn't even do the chaos justice, but I thought it was worth watching. Knox is becoming quite the entertainer with the encouragement of his siblings. Notice his cowboy boots too. He loves them! You will hear all kinds of craziness, including a burp. Sorry! Carson is really enjoying being a boy! Then Maisy starts fake burping. Gotta love my little lady! While Carson shushes Knox, Maisy screams with him. You are welcome to experience this anytime for yourself...come on over!

My Big Girl!

2011-05-02T14:46:00.000-07:00

After...so happy! Look close and you can see them. Pink flowers!

Before the piercing...very nervous.

Need I say more...

This weekend Maisy played her first baseball game. She did great! It is coach pitch, not t-ball, which is different. Anyway...I am the pitcher, which I think is a bit of an advantage for her. She got two good hits and played first base and outfield. It is a beginner league, so there are no outs and each child gets to bat every inning. We only played two. :) It was fun. She liked it too. In all honesty, she is not a bad little player. She hits well and isn't afraid of the ball, which is huge at this age. She has a good arm on her and catches decent. Fun times!

On another note, today was exciting for her. She got her ears pierced...finally. She has been talking about it forever, but keeps wimping out. Today she did it! Even though I was okay with it, I got a little teary when they did it. I don't know if it was knowing it hurt her or that she was old enough to decide to do it. Either way, she did it. It hurt, but she didn't cry. Way to go, Big Girl!

2011-04-24T12:12:00.000-07:00

It was a rainy, chilly day here. The Easter bunny made it, but some of the eggs got a little soggy overnight. The kids woke up early, as usual, ready to start celebrating. We made them wait for Knox, who was a little nervous when we told him the Easter Bunny came last night. He did not like the big bunny at the hunt yesterday! We had our own little hunt before church, and then we went to brunch afterwards. Church was a little rough for Knox. He had a hard time understanding why he couldn't crawl under the pews, but it was just to crowded today for any of his wildness. We all ate a ton, and are ready for a nap.

We wish we had some relatives close-by to celebrate this wonderful day. We miss you all!

Listen to this!

2011-04-21T12:20:00.000-07:00

That's my girl! She is reading. I am so proud of her. Reading independently is a huge milestone. She is almost there. She has endured endless "lessons" with me, which she hasn't always enjoyed. She is an amazingly fast learner, when she wants to be. But, also amazingly stubborn, when she wants to be. I wonder where she gets that?!?!

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

2011-04-20T18:54:00.001-07:00

Baseball season is officially underway. We have two players this season. Carson is playing on a competitive 8U team, the Eureka Cats. Maisy is playing coach pitch baseball on the Lady Cats, also purple. We had our first tournament for Carson this weekend. He played AWESOME! I am a bit biased, but also fairly critical of his effort. However, right now I have nothing negative to say. He is having a good time, which is so nice to see after his experience last fall. He is playing with confidence and intelligence. Carson is excellent in the field. I played catch with him the other day and couldn't believe the strength behind his throws, maybe I had a bad glove. I don't know. It seems impossible for someone as skinny as him to be strong, but my hand stung in that glove. Jeremy is the assistant coach of Carson's team, and he is loving being out on the field as much as Carson. I am proud of my boys.

Maisy and I are practicing for her first game next weekend. She is doing really well. Having an older sibling is such an advantage. She is quite the little player. I am proud of her effort too. I will be the pitcher for the team, so we will see how that goes. Poor Knox gets drug from one game and practice to the next, loving every second outside in the dirt!

1 and a Half, 18 Months, 78 Weeks, 546 days

2011-04-14T19:43:00.001-07:00

My baby is getting older. At first I wrote big, but in comparison to his older siblings, he is still quite a shrimp for his age. I cannot believe he is 18 months old! He is a true baby, and I think he will always be pampered as such. We have kicked the bottle habit, haven't had a binkie for months, and are beginning to want to communicate verbally, beyond grunting. These are all signs of growing up.

Officially there will be no more babies for us. While it was such reassuring news, it is a little heartbreaking. Knox is stuck with the burden of being my last baby, which means growing up might be kind of hard to do, for both of us. It is hard for me to let go of my baby. But I guess to fully embrace his toddler-ness, I must. I have to put him go to bed without rocking him to sleep. I have to let him go down the slide by himself. I have to start being more of a disciplinarian. Oh how I love my baby!

Right now he is a bundle of energy. Knox isn't saying much, but communicates his feelings quite clearly with a slap in the face, a tug on the finger, a tickle on your back, a grunt at the door, repeated signs for please, a big kiss or a vicious shake of the head. He loves being naked, and he loves being outside. The day I let him swim naked in the driveway was his best day ever, I think. He truly loves to be read to, and no number of books is ever enough. He is silly, rough, observant, and particular. I also think he is actually quite smart under his mute and messy exterior. He only likes one toy at a time in the bathtub or his car seat, which is a funny little quirk. He also likes his crayons all facing a certain direction and his blocks stacked the same way. Strange for a kid that eats rocks and loves trashcans. He is scared of loud noises...vacuum, hair dryer, and the lawn mower are all frightening to him. I haven't used the vacuum without holding him in at least a year. I have almost quit blow drying my hair. (That's a stay-at-home mom for you.) It is becoming quite a workout. Speaking of workout, I think I get a better one than Carson does at his little league games. I chase Knox everywhere. If I turn my back for a second he is in the dugout. He is fascinated with it! He even made it out on the field once. But, no matter how difficult he can be or how frustrating a dinner out is, I wouldn't want it any other way. He is one of the best 3 things that has ever happened to me.

Thank you, Knoxy for all the excitement and giggles you bring to our home. Thank you for showing me that Carson can still be very tender, and that Maisy is very cautious. Thank you for melting your daddies heart with your squeezes. Thank you for reminding me of what is really important. You bring out the best in all of us, and we all have to work together to keep up with you. We love you, Big Boy!

Spring Break 2011!

2011-03-25T18:30:00.000-07:00

We made it! After a long night, 4 hours of sleep for Knox and I due to his "playtime with Momma-hair pulling, tickling, patting, kissing, giggling, wrestling, anything but sleep", we got to Ft. Walton Beach about 12:30 on Thursday. We love the condo...great location, nice decor, and plenty of space for us. I am so relieved, since I arranged it. Whew!

The kids have loved the beach, pools and hot tub. Maisy has gone strong from one watery location to the next. Carson loves playing in the sand. Knox has done great too. He likes the sand and loves the water. The ocean is cold, I think. It doesn't seem to bother the kids though.

It has been so nice to get away together. I have spent time with each of them alone, which is so rare. Carson and I took a long walk on the beach this afternoon. Maisy and I hot tubbed this evening. Knox and I have had our routine bedtime cuddles. Jeremy and I have enjoyed the quiet evenings while tired kids sleep. We are loving it! Carson asked if he could enroll in school here.

Awesome Possum!

2011-03-10T15:44:00.000-08:00

Carson was quite the possum last night in the first grade musical. I was a bit horrified that he got the role as the possum. It was the not the cutest animal in the play, but at least he volunteered for a speaking part, which was a shock. The musical was a version of The Bear Went Over the Mountain. I decided last night that even though all children's musicals seem the same, they are all so darn cute. The colors, the costumes, their voices, the waving, it is all priceless. Carson was very reserved on stage. I could tell he was nervous, but he was flawless in reciting his lines. It was a nice show. I feel a little more attached to the program than the average parent because a girlfriend and I painted all the little animals that climbed over the mountain. It was an enormous task, for little showtime. But, I am glad I could help out. It is nice to have the time and availability to do these things. I must thank my husband again, for providing me this opportunity. I don't say it often enough.

Enjoy the show!

Knox loves trains!

2011-03-05T20:27:00.000-08:00

Sweet kids...

"Rock, rock." Then he would throw them. He loved the rocks as much as the trains!

Such a Momma's boy! What a good big sister!

We went to the Museum of Transportation this week. Knox loved it! He LOVES trains and cars so much right now. Sissy was a good sport and came along. She said, "The Creation Station wasn't very much fun, and I thought it would be much fun. I was so excited. It wasn't very exciting." My little girl is growing up. She used to love things like that. I think she likes trying to get her jabs in at me now though, so she might be exaggerating a bit, just to try and bother me. My response was that next time she could stay at home, if she was so bored. She decided she would rather come along. Stinker! I had some fun with my camera and am going to put the last ones up in his room. We might be taking a train ride back home this summer. I think everyone would like that. Hopefully we have a kind relative or two that will volunteer to pick us up.

Now that Knox is a little older, I think our outings are going to be a lot of fun. I can't wait to take him to the zoo.

Really?!?

2011-03-03T13:14:00.000-08:00

I find myself mumbling that a lot lately, usually in complete disbelief about what just happened. Knox is a completely different baby than Carson and Maison were. I knew Carson was a good baby, but didn't fully understand how well behaved, calm, and kind he was until now. Even wild Maisy with all her energy was nothing like Knox. He is always into something. The dog food and water bowls have been a favorite for some time, spilling, splashing, standing in them, carrying them around etc. The refrigerator is a new one. He loves to pull things out and climb in it. I have found potatoes randomly all over my house from his pantry explorations, and I have quit buying Pop-Tarts because he gets them out and throws them all over the floor until they are crumbles. It seems like I must be a really inattentive parent, which I will admit, I do get distracted with dinner or disciplining the other two, but he is not ever forgotten. He is just so funny, ornery, and silly. The surprises never stop with him! Nose picking is his new favorite trick. He entertained Carson's first grade class with a real show the other day. The more they laughed, the harder he picked. Class clown in the making!

Lovin' Life!

2011-02-17T14:00:00.000-08:00

He is getting so big!

My happy girl

He really loves to swing.

How can you not be happy and active in weather like this? What a February treat! The kids truly think winter is over and we are on the brink of summer vacation. I keep reminding them of one more month of winter, but no one is listening. We are just loving every minute outdoors, especially my little rug-rat. I will ask forgiveness now. He is destined to always be grubby and dirty. He loves being outside and is into as much mischief there as inside. He falls down all the time, is hopelessly attracted to mud and plants. He is a true boy, inside and out! So fun! Of course Carson is loving this nice weather, but school keeps him from hanging with us all day.

Well...playing with my little mute is a challenge. He might not say a lot, but he definitely has his own ideas about how we should play. He does get his point across though. Pretend play might not be his thing. He might want to stick with individual sports, like wrestling. :) I will keep after him. I am determined he will have a nice vocabulary sometime before 5.

The Pampered Chef

2011-02-03T13:10:00.001-08:00

The night ended with an exhausted fit.

It is my party and I'll cry if I want to!

She LOVES babies! And I bought her one that cries and sounds like a real newborn.

What was I thinking? It stops me in my tracks when it makes noise. I love babies too!

Mmmm...that was a good cupcake I made!

The 12 Happy Chefs

I can never remember how these pictures go in. Start from bottom and scroll up. It was a great 5th birthday for Maisy, I think. We had our first basketball game. It was a coaching nightmare. We lost, but had a good time. Then we rushed home for the party. She had all her friends over, cooked great treats, and got to open presents. It was a good day and I was exhausted!

I realized through this party that you plan and prepare all this great stuff, but when the day comes you are so busy doing "stuff" that you don't get to really enjoy your 5 year old. I hope she knows that all that hard work is an expression of love. I wouldn't do it otherwise. I will be cleaning up cheese, sprinkles, and stickers for years. All out of love...all out of love!

"Bigness", my Maisy-ism

2011-01-25T13:16:00.000-08:00

Five is hard....It was with Carson. It is with Maison. I can't imagine it with Knox. There is no more denying the "bigness" at 5. She is not a toddler. She will be starting school. She is a big girl. She is still my girl, but not a baby.

When I think about Maisy and her 5 years, I pray they have been as happy for her as they have for me. She brings a spark of joy into everything she does. She has always been a terrible sleeper because I think she just hates to miss anything. She loves being the center of attention. She does everything, good or bad, at full throttle. If it is good, it is really, really good. But, if it is bad, it is really, really bad. She is so different from Carson, that at first, I underestimated her. Now, I am beginning to get an idea of who she is.

Maison is strong, fun, happy, wise, and independent. She has grown from a fussy, chubby baby, into a vibrant, sassy, beautiful (in my mind) little girl. In between was a precious toddler that constantly made me laugh. She has always seemed older than she is, and that continues to be the case, since presently everything is judged against the teenager status. One thing I have loved about Maisy from the beginning is that she always wakes up so happy. She is so excited for the day and what it holds for her. I pray that excitement for life never leaves her. She brings such enthusiasm into everything she does. She is one in a million!

The 5 things I love most about Maisy right now are:

1. She truly thinks everything is about her. This can be cute, or very frustrating, but is very descriptive of who she is right now.

2. Maisy-isms (Fever Remote-thermometer, Easter horns-bunny ears, Skating ring-skating rink, jeams-jeans, Best day ever)

3. Every night she says the same thing before bed. "Mommy, will you come check on me and if I am still awake will you lay with me? Even if I am asleep?"

4. I love listening to her play, by herself, with me, or with friends. She is very insightful, bossy, and "teenager".

5. Her singing and dancing are hilarious, especially if she has dressed herself and she is watching her reflection in the tv.

I am working on a movie to celebrate Maisy's 5th birthday. She loves music and looking at herself, so I thought she would really like a little movie all about her. I found this one I made when she was two. I just cried and cried. I miss my baby girl! It truly goes too fast!

The Other Side of Sports...The Pinewood Derby

2011-01-25T12:46:00.000-08:00

It is amazing what motherhood will get you to do. Never in my life, or a million lifetimes for that matter, did I ever picture myself sporting a Boy Scout uniform. The days when I giggled about clothing choices of others are over. I was much more stylish then, than I am now. However, even in my most desperate, purely functional moments, the Boy Scout uniform has never been even a little bit okay. I do realize there are many people that wear the uniform with pride, and I appreciate that. It symbolizes a wonderful organization providing excellent experiences for boys. The underlying principles are designed to develop the entire boy, mind, spirit, heart, and soul. I get it. I don't get the outfit. Fine for boys, but not for the stay-at-home mom already struggling with her self image. Jeremy too voiced his shock the first time he saw me "in uniform". After cackling till breathless, he snapped numerous pictures with his cell phone. With all that in mind, I reluctantly post the picture above. Please focus on the proud Scout holding his trophy for Best Car Design. We might have had one of the slowest cars, but somehow got voted one of the best looking. I guess that is what happens when your mom is your Boy Scout leader. Oh well...we tried!

The Season Ends

2011-01-16T09:32:00.000-08:00

Carson and his Buddy, Braden

Basketball was so fun this year. With every sport and every season, I am impressed with how much the kids improve. This season was no exception. It was a really good experience for Carson, and we had fun watching. They won every game, until the last one. They lost a hear-breaker 6-8. Jeremy and I were wanting a win so badly, but it was obvious that it really didn't matter to the boys. It made me wonder when the whole winning and losing thing kicks in. Maybe since it wasn't a tournament and they had won so many...I don't know. I didn't like the loss though.

Carson plays really hard and enjoys the sport. He scored multiple baskets almost every game. His height, even on an older team, is still an advantage. We are hoping he gains some weight and grows into his feet before next year. He could be a real forward then!

Carson, thanks for some great Saturday morning entertainment. We are really proud of your hustle and good listening. Just remember, look up the floor when you dribble, use the backboard, and don't lose your man. You are the makings of a little MJ, CJ!

Little Smarty Pants

2011-01-11T19:09:00.000-08:00

Knox is such a funny kid. We are still waiting on him to express his profound thoughts verbally, but right now are satisfied with grunts and the copycat rhythms of his ramblings. He LOVES to be read to and looks at books all the time. He also loves the computer, cell phone, camera, Wii, and all things technological. He is very savvy in that way! He throws major fits, head on the floor screaming fits, if you are on the computer and he can't sit on your lap. Sitting on your lap is fine, but try typing with an extra set of toddler hands in the mix. This clip was taken shortly after 3 of those fits, when I finally gave in and let him type. I just re-enrolled in school to finish my Specialist degree and I have had a really hard time getting all the online issues resolved, so you can sense the frustration in my voice. He is a great little listener though, that is the only thing keeping me from freaking out about his talking. He understands everything we say! From now on, I work while he sleeps. Oh...how I love my little E-Trade Baby!

If you ever get a random nonsensical text from me, that is Knox too, communicating in his own language.

Good-Bye 2010...Hello 2011!

2011-01-01T14:04:00.000-08:00

I have named 2010 the year of "Finding Home". While the phrase carried many meanings over the months, the main purpose of the year was finding "home", in the sense of a house, as well as a sacred place for our family to grow together. There were many doubts over the year where "home" would be found, but today we remain in St. Louis...happily, I think. We continue to work on the structure of our home, finishing up odds and ends that got overlooked during the "moving phase" this summer. A patio, finished basement, and new fireplace are our current projects, which will keep us busy for some time. The most important part of making this place our home, have been the people and memories to fill it. We have started developing friendships and activities to make us part of the community. I feel fortunate we have been surrounded by such a great neighborhood, and welcoming neighbors. School, sports, and church are the main outlets for social events. We are meeting great people through our kids, which is fun. To celebrate this new commitment to home, we had a huge Christmas party at our house. I am grateful for all the gifts, tangible and not, in our life.

So, all in all, 2010 brought us home. It is a good place to be.

Favorite Memories from 2010:

Knox-Mommy's last day of work...

Maisy-Learning to water ski, but she learned to snow ski too. She is not a fan of cold weather.

Carson-Going to Table Rock Lake and swimming in the lake. (This is funny, because we had to almost throw him in the first time.)

Alison-Valentine's Day Surprise...I pulled off a great surprise, and truly treasure any time I get alone with my husband. Sometimes I forget how much I enjoy his company.

Jeremy-Office of the Year Award

New Year Resolutions:

Knox-Give up the bottle

Maisy-Cut back on sugar intake.

Carson-Eat a variety of foods.

Alison-Prepare healthy, yummy meals that makes everyone happy.

Jeremy-Lose 15 lbs.

Before and After...the Haircut!

2010-12-20T07:00:00.001-08:00

While the haircut is far from good, he does look better. I had gotten so used to it being long, I didn't realize how unruly and shaggy he was. I cried as the blond locks fell. He looks so much older, but a bit more like his brother and sister.

We Wish You a Merry Christmas!

2010-12-14T11:10:00.000-08:00

I hope you enjoyed the quick clips of my little angel! Today was her Christmas program at school. It was very sweet. I am so thankful that Maisy is learning the stories of the Bible at school. She is getting a lot out of it, and making new friends. Her current best friend is Ellie. She is the other angel.

My little angel did something truly kind yesterday. We were at the post office and the lady behind us had her arms full of packages, and Maisy said, "Mom, you should let her go in front of us. Her packages are heavy." I tried to get Maisy to ask her, but she wouldn't. As I struggled to keep Knox in my arms and hold my cards, it was the last thing I wanted to do. The post office is not a fun place this time of year, but I did offer for the woman to go when it was our turn. She accepted. I gave Maisy all the credit. She beamed with pride. It made my heart swell too. I guess they do "get it" sometimes, and are there to remind us when we are distracted. Thank you, sweet girl!

It's Christmas Time In the City

2010-12-12T18:31:00.000-08:00

This weekend we got really excited about Christmas. We went to see Santa on Friday night, which was a little adventure. We went to an incredibly nice shopping district and saw a really "good-looking" Santa. The kids looked really nice and behaved decently in line. I have decided Christmas brings out the best and worst in all of us, especially children. Anyway, Maisy and Carson had a good conversation with Santa, I guess. I couldn't focus on anything except the screaming toddler in my arms. He was definitely not a fan of the handsome man in red.

On Saturday, I sorted gifts and started wrapping. With each purchase I feel closer and closer to the end of my list, but the it continues to allude me. Only 13 days left...I need to get it together. Knox has put a huge damper on my shopping skills. He naps, hates coats and loves to run wild in the stores.

Today we woke up to 3 inches of snow and frigid temperatures. That will really put you in the Christmas spirit. The kids braved the elements and played until they were frozen. Maisy told me she had "icicles hanging from her nose holes." Knox stumbled around in too big cowboy boots crunching the ice. He really liked it, but was ready to get out of the cold. He never wants to come inside, but today he didn't fight me.

Overall it was a festive weekend, with a gingerbread house to top it off. I truly LOVE the Christmas season!

PS-I got a new camera for Christmas. Thank you, Jeremy! I love it! My favorite picture is the one of Phelps (the elf) with Knox trying to ambush him from the stairs. He LOVES the elf! He jabbers and giggles at him all the time. He is constantly trying to get him. So funny!!!

Lasts?

2010-12-04T13:58:00.001-08:00

I bought a good book called Let Me Hold You Longer a few years ago. There is a link to it on the left. It is a tearful reminder to remember the lasts. I have learned over the years that the lasts are as significant as the firsts. But, the lasts are unexpected and usually unrecognized until they are over and done. They are usually not celebrated like the firsts either. But, come with many tears, that is for sure.

With every bottle I give Knox, I think this should be the last. But, having nursed him for so long, I love giving him a bottle. It is the only peaceful time I get with him, since he is such a busy boy. I will know when it is the last bottle, and I will savor every minute with a good cry. With Maison I wonder, "Will this be the last night she begs me to sleep with her?" Sometimes I secretly hope so, because by that time of night I am ready for a break. But, when that last night comes, I won't know. I hope I get the chance to sleep with her on that last night. She closes her eyes and smiles so sweetly as she cuddles up to me. She always has to hold my hand. Why would I ever deny her that? I feel like with Carson we are on the brink of so many lasts. Last Christmas for Santa for one, which completely breaks my heart. I love seeing the magic of Christmas sparkle in his eyes. Today he did something that made me tear up knowing it could be a last. He was leaving with Jeremy for a basketball game. I gave him his "Go get 'em" talk, and he was off. But, at the door he turned around and came back to find me. He gave me a kiss and said, "See 'ya, Mom." That might have been the last unprompted sweet good-bye for awhile. Ahh...my little prince. Let me hold you longer.

My Animal Lover...Finally

2010-12-02T07:26:00.000-08:00

Carson and Maison have never been huge animal lovers, especially if it is out of a cage. Knox, on the other hand, adores Aspen, as you can see. He chases her around the house, eats her dog food, plays in her water bowl, and feeds her from his highchair. He is usually really sweet with her, but has grabbed her face and feet a couple of times too hard. Aspen is so good with him. She tolerates all his antics. I think she loves him because he feeds her, and he hugs on her. It is so cute to watch them. He has started imitating her too. He pants and eats like a puppy. I love my dog-boy!

Naughty WATCH!

2010-11-28T18:29:00.000-08:00

Maisy and Carson received video emails from Santa tonight.He knows so much about them. He has really been watching them. Sadly, there is a note in each of their files. They are both on Naughty Watch! Check out these great videos and cross your fingers they straighten up!

Maisy's video

http://www.portablenorthpole.tv/watch/tZq26zGJ7CCQNxg987v1Wg

Carson's video

http://www.portablenorthpole.tv/watch/q7ZPpWf9O0e0mRd7s5FvBQ

She Loves Me!

2010-11-18T18:54:00.001-08:00

Finally...going to bed one night last week, Maisy asked if not wanting someone to leave meant that you loved them. I said yes. She said, "Then I love you." I was so happy. I danced my way down the hall that night, and did a little jig in my bedroom. Jeremy was not amused, as he is still waiting to be loved again.

I am still struggling to understand this ever aware mind of my daughter, but am trying really hard to focus on all the loving, kind things she does. I have been so hyper-sensitive to the other things, that I was overlooking the sweet things she does all the time. She is the first one to help Knox with anything. She always wants him to play with her. She constantly runs to Carson's beck and call, even if he has been terrible to her. She cries every time I leave, which is not often anymore, but none-the-less, she doesn't like being left behind. She is always helpful and loves to be involved in any activity. She is a wonderful little girl, just way to focused on growing up and figuring the world out.

If only I could make her understand how hard it is to be grown-up. Enjoy it sweet Princess...laundry, bills, discipline, responsibility, working-out because you have to, eating what you should-not what you want...it can all wait.

Good Morning from our House!

2010-11-15T05:37:00.000-08:00

There is a brief amount of time each morning that is peaceful. Granted they are all up before 7:30, which is completely unnecessary, it takes a few minutes for the kids batteries to reach full charge this time of day. No one has said or done anything mean, Knox hasn't eaten anything inedible or broken anything, and they are all sitting together like they love each other. A beautiful start to the day!

Unfortunately in the time it took me to write this, Knox has escaped and Carson and Maison are arguing. Time to go!

Halloween

2010-10-31T20:06:00.000-07:00

Halloween is a lot of work! We are tired, dirty, and ready for bed. Getting 3 kids ready to trick-or-treat is definitely not a treat. It was hard work! But, what a good night. We walked in the neighborhood parade, attended a couple of parties, and walked the streets till 9:00. Carson weighed his candy, and he raked in 3 lbs of it. Maisy robbed our generous neighbors and pulled in 4 pounds. UGH! There will be some sugar crashed kids at school tomorrow...glad I won't be there.

Little Knox was a trooper, but hated his 3 ft hat and protested each time I tried for a picture. He loved the fire truck at the parade! It was funny to watch him take in the costumes. Some really scared him. He loved all the dressed-up dogs though. I think I might have my first animal lover. He adores Aspen and chases her all over the house. Tonight he threw a huge fit to pet some other people's dogs, which was a parenting first. He crashed early after a warm bath. Cuddling that warm, sweet smelling, fleece bundle might have been the highlight of my night. I love bedtime!

Maisy was a wardrobe disaster by the end of the night. She came home with no hat, no wig, no nails, half her green face smudged off, but happy as a clam with all her candy. Carson loved his warm costume, and was super good. Great kids, great night!

Happy Halloween!

Writing to Remember

2010-10-27T19:22:00.000-07:00

One of the reasons I am keeping this blog is to remember. When you are so caught up in living, you don't always see the beauty in it, and you forget how wonderful each day is. I know I have a bad memory, so writing about our life together will help me recall all the little things that make up my days right now.

Most entries are to share accomplishments, fun times, or cute pictures. They leave me feeling warm and fuzzy remembering the events of the entry. Tonight's post is different. I am hoping by writing things begin to make sense to me...that I can figure out where to go next. Because right now, I am lost.

I have heard numerous people say that raising girls is harder than boys. I always assumed that had something to do with hormones of teenage girls being unpredictable. However, I don't think hormones can be blamed for behaviors at 4.

Maison is really challenging me right now. She has declared emotional warfare on Jeremy and I. Sadly, she is winning. While there are several layers and weeks of inappropriateness surrounding this, the current issue is by far the most hurtful. She has questioned private parts, empathy, life, death, love and hate as of late. At present, she is convinced that she loves no one. When we tell her we love her, she says nothing in return. She says she doesn't want to lie, so she can't say it back. She goes into very specific detail about her feelings. I know that love is a very abstract concept and unexplainable, and quite possibly, impossible for a four year old to truly understand. But, most of them don't have the guts to admit they feel anything but love for their parents. I have taken every approach I can think of with her. Short of giving into her every demand, nothing works. It is to the point that I think she might not love us. While I am trying to honor her feelings, it really hurts mine. I can't wait to hear her tell me she loves me again.

A few months ago she would yell the same thing from her bed every night. "Mommy, I love you. Can you come check on me and if I am still awake, lay with me? And, good-night." She would repeat it 3-4 times. Now, a kiss and hug...nothing.

I don't know what to do. My heart is breaking.

What a Weekend!

2010-10-17T20:25:00.000-07:00

We have had a super busy weekend. It was super, and it was busy! It started off with the school carnival on Friday night. Three hours with 3 kids in an elementary school filled with sugar filled children playing games and dragging their parents all over...organized chaos. On Saturday morning, Maisy had a soccer game, which was a highlight. She was an amazingly different kid out there...aggressive and ball hungry. She scored her first goal and followed it up with 3 more! Unfortunately we lost, but she really got the hang of it. Then we had movie night at our house and invited the neighbor girls over for How to Train a Dragon. Sunday, Carson had a play date, and Maison had another soccer game. They won! The score was 6-2. Maisy had 5 goals! She is so fun to watch! She is totally focused and fast. Most importantly, she is having fun out there. Following the game we dashed to the pumpkin patch for face painting, pony rides, and hay slides. I also managed to finish 2 out of 3 Halloween costumes, mow the yard, get groceries, and am now cleaning house. Whew! I can't wait for Jeremy to get home. I am worn out!

Preschool or High School?

2010-10-14T09:12:00.001-07:00

Every girl needs her beauty rest and a mask, even when you sleep with your night light and bathroom light on!

My little 4 year old Diva has been so cute when she has left for school lately. She is very opinionated about her outfits, but thankfully allows me to censor the accessories for school. I don't think ankle bracelets (my hair ties) or nose rings (earring stickers) are quite appropriate at this age. UGH! I do concede and let her wear her "teenager shorts" on occasion. What to do?!?! Anyway...my little sassafras continues to amaze me with her awareness, curiosity, and creativity. I doubt I ever forget the struggles we have had over the last month, but hope her intelligence proves to be a reasonable explanation at some point. I have no other positive reason that seems believable. She is one in a million. At times, I just can't believe she is mine. She is so much stronger than I am, even at 4. Watch out world!

Birthday Boy

2010-10-14T08:14:00.000-07:00

Knox was one yesterday...with that milestone comes a flood of emotions for me. But, I am going to try and keep this about him. I will deal with my feelings later. He woke up hungry and early, as usual, grunting in his bed. After some milk, we got dressed. Carson came smiling down the hall, and the first thing he said was, "Happy first birthday, Knox." So sweet. Then we had some donuts and sang Happy Birthday. We rushed Maisy off to preschool, and then we went to the bookstore to pick out a birthday book. He chose one about cars, trucks, planes, and boats. He is really into vehicles right now. He had some more milk, got some balloons, and then we picked up Maisy. Knox took a short nap on the way home. After lunch Mrs. Sheree came over with Jack. We opened her present, had cookies and played. Another nap and then we played outside. After Jeremy got home we ate spaghetti, a family favorite, had cake and opened our presents. Knox was really tired by this point, but enjoyed the festivities, I think. He was really cautious with the cake, which surprised me. I think he just ate too much spaghetti to really get into it. It was lovely night. He took a bath and went right to sleep.

At one Knox is curious, happy, very active, and quiet (unless he wants something). He is rough and tough. He has taken some good spills and rarely cries. He is sensitive...loud noises really scare him. So do small dogs, Carson/Maisy screaming/wrestling, and most recently his bath toys. He gets this panicked look of terror on his face when he is scared. It breaks my heart. He loves balloons, Aspen, water bottles, cars, Maisy's baby stroller, playing in water, and being outside. He still spits up, which is one thing I can't wait for him to out grow. He did it 3 times this morning. He loves the color yellow, at least I think so. He likes to tickle your skin when it peeks out of your shirt on your back or tummy. He loves to nurse, which is going to be a difficult habit to break, but we are working on it. While he is not saying very much (this, that, get it), I do think he is smart. He understands everything I ask him to do. He has the most beautiful blue eyes and a giggle that melts my heart. He is my baby, now and forever.

As for me...it was my last first birthday. While Knox is still very much a baby, even more so than Carson and Maison were at this age, I still feel like it is almost over. I love my babies! I love playing with them, feeding them, all of it. It makes my heart hurt to think it is almost over...forever. I am beginning to realize that I need to be needed. He needs me now, but not for much longer. Wanting your momma is totally different than needing her. He needs me. Carson and Maisy want me, but don't need me anymore. It makes me happy that we are raising independent, smart children, but it just goes too fast. I have a feeling Mr. Knox might be the most independent of the three, once he gets a little bigger. He is so strong willed and temperamental, I think he will be a tough kid. Sigh...I am just so happy he is healthy and seemingly well-adjusted. I just pray next year we are celebrating under the same wonderful circumstances.

Little Slugger!

2010-10-11T09:28:00.000-07:00

This weekend we journeyed back to KC for another ball tournament. It was a great weekend for baseball. It was 80 degrees and sunny. Even better than the weather, was the baseball. The boys played great, especially #9, CJ Smith. (He likes to be called CJ now. )

This fall season in St Louis has been rough. He is playing up a level in kid pitch, which slows everything down considerably. He also hasn't gotten the opportunity to show off his skills in the field either, pitching only once and being stuck in the outfield most of the time. Needless to say, we will be finding another team for next season. I am experiencing the anguish of biased coaching, or maybe I am the one that is biased. Whatever the reason, Carson has not been given a fair shake. It is a hard thing to sit back and watch. I can't imagine what the future holds in store for Jeremy and I along this athletic adventure. We are too competitive to keep our heads or our hearts in check all the time.

On a more positive note, the tournament was a lot of fun this weekend. It was machine pitch, so the boys got great hits. Carson nearly cleared the fence on a couple. He had some awesome catches at pitcher too. I caught myself jumping up and down. It was great to see him excited to play and enjoying himself again.

Happy Anniversary!

2010-10-06T05:35:00.001-07:00

Nine years ago today was the best day of my life. The weather now is almost exactly as I remember it that weekend...sunny and cool, with a real fall chill in the air, but beautiful. Thinking back on that day, most of my memories come from snapshots I have looked at many times, but there are a few I will hold in my heart and mind forever.

At our rehearsal, my grandpa sort-of turned the evening over to us. We had to decide where people were going to stand and little details like that. I was totally nervous and completely unprepared. I remember looking at Jeremy, pleading for help, but knowing he really didn't care. (Maybe I didn't know that then, but do now. Not because we have talked about it, but because I have learned details like that don't really matter to Jeremy.) My next vivid memory is of our few moments alone before pictures. I walked down the aisle to him and I remember thinking he looked so handsome and happy. I knew then, if I ever doubted it, that he really did want to marry me. (It is funny how you can look at someone so often, and know their face so well, but rarely do you really SEE them.) I saw him then, and loved him so much. Then during the ceremony, I remember laughing while our song, I Cross My Heart, was being sung. It was performed beautifully, but we were just giggling about the fact that we were really doing it...getting married, and all those people were there, staring at us! That song still makes me laugh. From then on the evening was a blur. We danced and had a great time. Once we finally made it back to our room, I remember being SO tired. We laid down and we took turns pulling 43 hair pins out of my hair. I bet I was pretty sight then!

Nine years later, I would do it all over again. Jeremy knows me better than anyone and loves me anyway. He takes the good with the bad. He always has. While no one can irritate and frustrate me like him, no one loves me like he does either. We have been through a lot together, and I am so thankful that I have him to grow old with. He is my absolute opposite, but my best friend. He has given me the three best gifts in the world, Carson, Maisy, and Knox, and I am a better person because of him.

I love you, J.

2010-10-05T19:45:00.000-07:00

Movin' and Groovin'

2010-09-21T11:34:00.000-07:00

Another Precious Moment

2010-09-21T11:28:00.000-07:00

Occasionally they can play so well together. Last weekend they built this fort in Maisy's room. Inside their empty boxes are their sleeping "animals" (a teddy bear and tiger). They decided to sleep in it. It was a stormy night, so we agreed. When I went in to check on them, this is what I found...two sleeping angels, one comforting the other with some double jointed hand holding.

Messy Baby

2010-09-21T11:10:00.001-07:00

Well...as time passes, I have come to accept the fact that being a stay-at-home mom doesn't mean your house is perfect, at least not here. I have also come to realize there are degrees of cleanliness. In my mind the range is perfect, clean, tidy, thrown together, livable, and disgusting. My house is clean, but rarely tidy, often thrown together and livable. Disgusting after most weekends.

Above are some photos of Knox and his contributions to the levels of cleanliness here. He is a disaster on two feet now. He needs a bath after every meal, as do my floor and walls around his high chair. His feet are always dirty and his shirts rarely without a stain. Spit-up is still a daily disaster for him, me, the floor, or the other kids. Now he is starting to play in it if I don't get to it fast enough. Thank goodness he is the last one, because there are no savable hand-me-downs. I won't even comment on his constantly stinky diapers...like nothing I have ever seen! Regardless of his degree of dirt and stink, I love that baby! He is so much fun!

Officially: Toddler!

2010-09-15T12:47:00.001-07:00

While I tried and tried to get a good clip from the front, this was the best one. It is hard to pull off this type of video on your own. He is officially walking! He reminds me so much of how Carson walked. Kind of Frankenstein-ish, but he is so proud of himself. Maisy is still the earliest mover, walking very well at an early 10 months. Carson was soon after. Knox was one day short. He walked at 11 months and 1 day! I know he could have done it much sooner, but appears more cautious than his sister. I won't complain about that!

Look What We've Been Up To...

2010-09-15T12:24:00.000-07:00

It continues to be busy here, even though I am not working. I don't know how we survived before. I feel like a crazy woman! I have done some incredibly stupid things for a woman of leisure too. These ridiculous actions have led my husband to believe I am much more capable when frazzled and stressed (working). I am beginning to wonder if he is right, although I will never admit that to him. First, we showed up an hour late for Meet your Teacher, which doesn't sound like a big deal, except it is only an hour. Then, we showed up for Carson's first ball game 10 minutes early, but in the wrong town 20 minutes away. To top it all off, I lost my car keys at Wal-Mart with Maisy and Knox an hour before our first bbq at our house. Today, I drove home from lunch with Jeremy's take home on top of the van. Needless to say, it did not make it. Ahhh!

The kids are somehow all in one piece, healthy and happy, most of the time. Carson is playing kid pitch baseball, and doing awesome. He pitched his first game and struck out his first batter. He did great. I am so proud of him! Maisy has started preschool. Even though she cries each day when I leave her, I know she loves it. She really needed the social interaction. Knox is getting smarter and bigger by the day. He is almost one! I cannot believe it!

Teeth and Trucks

2010-08-25T15:05:00.000-07:00

My boys are getting big!

A Moment to Remember

2010-08-20T18:31:00.000-07:00

As I was putting Knox to bed tonight, he was nestled up under my chin, which is his newest sleep position. He flopped from one shoulder to the other smelling of sweet baby...not baby lotion clean baby, but a mixture of sweat, spit-up, milk, food, wipes, and all things baby. His hair was matted to his head with sweat from nursing and I could feel heat radiating from his little body. He was looking up at me from my chest. He smiled so sweet as I kissed his cheeks. I did it many times and he just giggled. Then he reached up and patted my cheek. Then he leaned up and kissed me. It was one of his precious open mouthed licks. It was like he really meant it though. Then he just put his head back down and smiled.

Moments like that should be kept in a box to be relived whenever you need them. I wish I could recall his weight in my arms, warm, sweet skin, and precious smile forever. I know in time this will seem only a foggy memory. It makes me sad, but thankful at the same time. I appreciate all the light he shines on our lives.

First Day of First Grade

2010-08-20T15:29:00.000-07:00

He had to be the cutest kid in class. He was very opinionated about his outfit this year. He was going for the tough look, which is totally not Carson. But, I gave in and bought the skull shirt. He is enjoying first grade so far. I am really proud of his good behavior and hard work at school. I hope it continues. We'll see...I love you, Bubby!

Redneck Yacht Club

2010-08-16T12:03:00.000-07:00

Wow! It was quite a reunion at Table Rock this weekend! All the Smiths met at the lake for some fun on the water. We swam, boated, fished and skied all over the lake. It was a lot of fun. We might have frightened the fish and other lake go-ers with our enthusiastic lake attire, but it was amazing how quickly we all morphed into the environment. Uncle Rodney and Aunt Tammy definitely got the best dressed award this year.

The kids loved riding on the boat and swimming in the water. Carson LOVED fishing! He got a few nibbles, but no fish. He is determined to go more often now that Jeremy has his fishing license. Maisy loved swimming. It didn't matter if it was the lake or the pool, she was in the water. She learned to ski this weekend too. We were all very proud of her. While no toenails were lost in this skiing adventure, I did have quite a "redneck Bay Watch" jump off the side of the boat in my camouflage hat and hunting vest to save her from an oncoming speed boat, that scared us all to death. Maisy always brings her own drama to any event. Knox was a handful on the trip. I would say he was miserable. He was constantly held or in some type of contraption due to the water, heat, and state of the accommodations. He did seek his revenge through sleepless nights, face clawing, and constant grunting. He made us feel his pain, to put it mildly. I think the best part was watching the kids enjoying a whole new way of life. They loved the water and all that went with it. Most importantly, they loved spending time with their cousins. They had a great time!

While we returned home exhausted, we laughed about all the fun we had. Hopefully this can become a tradition. Maybe next year Knox will enjoy it.

Getting Big!

2010-07-31T07:44:00.000-07:00

Knox is 9 months old now, and SO busy! He is into everything. I never thought a baby could be busier than Maisy, but I think he is. Last night he almost swallowed a Lego. Gagging, I swiped it from his mouth. So scary! Big kid rooms are now off limits, since he is capable of finding even the smallest "choke-able" item in the carpet. He loves to eat our food and is beginning to spit and swat baby food, so I don't know how much longer I can pull that off. He is working on some more teeth. Four of them, I think. Poor baby! It has been some rough nights lately. Poor Momma! Overall, he is a very happy little guy. He is in major Momma mode right now, and really doesn't want anyone else. He loves Maison and Carson though. They can always make him laugh, and they love to help with him. However, the carrying is getting a bit scary. Aside from the constant pinching and scratching with his strong little hands, he is a delight...really easy-going and silly. I think he is going to be a real ham. I love being home with him. And, even though I never want to be pregnant again, I am sad he is my last baby. I just love their innocence and dependency so much. It is good to feel needed.

Seven Years

2010-07-10T13:58:00.001-07:00

He is officially seven. I can't believe it! I spent part of the day yesterday reminiscing with Carson, as I do every birthday. He always cries when we read the love letters I wrote him as a baby. He is a really good kid, most of the time. He is smart and thoughtful, very creative, and intuitive. However, none of these amazing qualities apply when dealing with Maison, which is a very sore subject right now. But, in an effort to focus on the positive, he is helpful and a very good brother to Knox. I am proud to call him mine.

Carson has grown up a lot in the last year. It could be the move, school, the new sibling, or just maturity, but he seems older. He is getting a sense of humor and pushing the boundaries a bit with his mouth, which is to be expected. He still loves to be held and read to at night. He is getting too big to hold comfortably and he can read very well, but it is hard for him to let go of some of these habits. He is very nurturing right now too. He won some fish at Bushwacker Days and it was the best day ever. He is constantly making little homes for things and taking care of them. One of my best memories of Carson this year was on Mother's Day. He really wanted to do something special for me. I had mentioned randomly that nothing would be better than an ice cold Coke in bed. Very early that morning, I heard footsteps in my room and faked asleep, hoping for a few more minutes of sleep. When I opened my eyes, there was a can of Coke on my nightstand. So sweet...I am really enjoying his company these days. He is delightful to talk to, so clever and curious. I just wish there was more time for just us. Things are really busy for all of us and rarely does anyone get their own time. I just pray the time they get is enough.

Happy birthday, My Sweet Boy! July 9th will always be one of my favorite days of the year. I love you now more than ever. I am so proud of you!

Maisy on Stage!

2010-06-19T21:07:00.000-07:00

If you look closely, you can see her smiling and dancing. If you listen carefully, you can hear her singing. She is the second one from the right in the front row. It was a very special night. We were all so proud of her! Enjoy...according to Maison she will not be dancing ever again. The dresses are too itchy and the shows take too long-"waiting on the stinkin' big girls!"

Some Fun Photos

2010-06-03T10:27:00.001-07:00

Dance practice...sweet girls.

At the pool...

Kindergarten Celebration!

Adventure #1-Strawberry Jam

2010-06-03T10:06:00.001-07:00

Each week, I plan to have some sort of educational adventure lined out. This week it was making strawberry jam. We went picking at a local farm, following a torrential downpour. It was so muddy! Maisy and I lost our flip flops more than once in the sticky stuff. She ended up the dirtier than all the boys. Imagine that! I laughed so hard at the ridiculous situation, pretty typical. But, we had fun! Today we made the jam. I took the easy way out, but it is still delicious! More adventures to come!

There was light...

2010-05-23T18:42:00.001-07:00

We LOVED the hot, sunny weekend! It was so nice to feel the sun on our pasty white skin. We all enjoyed Saturday with some pool time in the driveway, a bike ride, and then bbq with our neighbors. It was a great day! Sunday, dreaded Sundays, was busy as usual. Except today we through in a birthday party and baseball game along with the usual madness preparing for another week. But, the good news is, this is the last hectic Sunday for a long time! That knowledge is going to power me through the next three days. I am so excited to be home. Here are some photos from our fun in the sun!

I love that photo! Three kids smiling at the camera is so rare. Knox loved the water! It will be a fun summer for sure!

On the Move

2010-05-16T17:19:00.000-07:00

We Made IT!

2010-04-28T08:27:00.000-07:00

As the end of the school year approaches and repreve from my hectic, crazy schedule is in sight, I want to document the struggles of the last year. I want to remember how difficult it has been, so in the future I can look back and clearly remember that WE DID IT! It was very difficult to not write I DID IT, but I recognize each member in the family played a key role in our survival. It was not just me. At times it sure felt like it though.

At the beginning of the school year, hugely pregnant and uncomfortable, I sat over my laptop after the kids were in bed crying about the uncertainty in what I was going to teach the next day. The job I accepted, prior to knowledge of Knox, was an incredible amount of work, and required a HUGE learning curve. Going from part-time to full-time in a new district, in a brand new program added to the stress. But, with the help of my co-workers and family, I made it until October...and Knox was born. Both Carson and Maison were very mature about the transitions required of them. Maisy went to full day preschool 5 days a week, and had never been away from me or her brother like that. Carson started a new school and went to before school care, where he knew no one at first. Neither of them really liked their situations, but did it each day. Jeremy worked hard dealing with crazy employees and a struggling office, while holding me at night as I cried. So, we pulled together and greeted our baby with open arms. Even that required strength of spirit though.

With no family in town our amazing neighbors took the kids while we had Knox. Jeremy stayed at home with them each night, sneaking over before work, on his lunch hour, and with the kids in the evening to see us at the hospital. It was an emotional stay. I missed my husband, my kids, and my mom. But, we made it. Our reality waited for us at home. "Home" was in transition at the time. We had been working on our "Money Pit" the last couple of months, and started packing up the rental house so we could move the first of November. I was determined to move over my maternity leave. I wanted things somewhat settled before the holidays and my return to work. Knox was an angel baby. He ate and slept just as a newborn should. He loved his sling, and I used that to my advantage, keeping him close, but my hands free. Carson and Maison both adored him, which made the leap from 2 to 3 kids easy, for the time being.

We moved into our new home the first weekend in November. We did it alone. It was an incredibly long weekend and it took numerous trips back and forth to get everything, but we did it too. The house looked great. We were really happy with our work. About a month later, I returned to work. Jeremy, his parents and mine stayed with Knox to get us to Christmas break. That made leaving him easier. It put my work in perspective too. I no longer had the energy for late night tantrums in achieving the perfect lesson, since there was a baby to feed at least twice each night.

Jeremy's front tooth fell out at dinner the day before Christmas Eve, which led to an unbelievably long restoration process involving an implant and bone graphs. He will have his new tooth sometime before next Christmas. This Christmas was spent at home, just us. Carson got dreadfully sick. He had the worst stomach flu I have ever seen. He started throwing up on Christmas Eve, numerous times. He ended up in the ER and having blood work done a week later, but thankfully he was okay. We left for the MO tour on Christmas Day, because we thought Carson was better. Halfway there he began vomiting in the backseat and continued for the rest of the week. Luckily no one else caught the dreaded bug. But everyone took their turn later in the season. Carson three times. Maison three times.

After the holidays, we settled into a winter routine. Work, eat, sleep...just not enough time in the day. I truly don't know how we did it. Jeremy refereed several nights, so it was rough. Somewhere in here Jeremy's company merged with a competitor, making his job security questionable. One saving grace in the chaos was our nanny. She did so much to help. She emptied the dishwasher, cleaned, and stayed late when needed. Most importantly, she loved my kids. They loved her too. I know without a doubt I would not have made it to May without her. (Thank you for sending her to us. Bless her for her kindness.)

Work continued to be a huge stress for both Jeremy and I. It was a difficult stretch for us, as a couple. Both so absorbed in our own struggles, unable and then unwilling to help the other. Marriage is a beautiful thing, but hard work. We just didn't have anything left for that. In fact, until recently, we had not been out alone since before Knox was born. Pretty sad. Aside from a repeatedly breaking refrigerator, no air conditioning the hottest week this season, some car issues, and an unsellable house things are looking up.

School is out. I am unemployed and so glad. It has been a busy 2 weeks, but I have gotten so much done. Most importantly, I am finding my way back to myself, my kids, and my husband. My admiration goes out to those women who work and support a family. It is very hard, and very few men will truly ever understand how difficult it is to keep all those balls in the air. I am thankful I have the opportunity to be home and recover from the stress of the last year. I am proud of what we have accomplished here, but feel 20 years older because of it. I am grateful for my children for loving me through it all. Some days it took all the strength I had to leave them sleeping as I crept off to work before dawn. I hope we all appreciate waking up together the next couple of years.

WE MADE IT!

6 Months Old!

2010-04-16T13:00:00.001-07:00

In 6 months he's taught me so much.

1. I don't really need sleep to function.

2. No one cares if the floors get cleaned.

3. Enjoy the moment.

4. There will never be enough time.

5. Slowing down is totally worth it.

6. I am stronger than I thought.

B-A-N-A-N-A-S!!

2010-03-28T13:09:00.000-07:00

Knoxy loves bananas!

I gave in and decided to feed the poor kid. He has been after our food and acting like he is starving, so today we mashed up some bananas. He loved it! He cried when we were done. I really wanted to wait until school was out to start making baby food, but it looks like I need to add it to the incredibly long " To Do List".

Happy Birthday, Grandma!

2010-03-28T12:40:00.000-07:00

Easter Horns and Crusty Bars

2010-03-05T05:24:00.000-08:00

Kids say the darnest things! Isn't that the truth. My Maisy Kay has a knack for it. The best thing about her "Maisy-isms" are that they are so creative and clever, but hilarious at the same time. The most recent are listed below, complete with definition. I need to document these so I can remember her unique perspective forever. I plan to add to the list, as I remember ones from the past or am introduced to more. I know they won't last much longer, so I have to enjoy them while I can.

Throat Hopping-Hiccups

Crusty Bar-Rice crispy treat

Easter horns-a headband with rabbit ears

My World...Begins and Ends with You

2010-03-02T17:23:00.000-08:00

Does he like it?

2010-02-15T07:14:00.000-08:00

I love my life!

2010-02-14T07:12:00.000-08:00

This time of year always makes me sentimental, and I always like to make note of the things I love. This is my most current list.

I love snow. The quietness of it and the hope of a day off work.

I love cereal. Captain Crunch is my favorite.

I love notebooks and lists. It is the only way I stay even slightly organized.

I love sleeping with my husband. It has been months since it has just been two of us in bed, and I miss that.

I love sleeping with my baby. Missing time with him during the work week, it is nice to cuddle with him all night. I am sacrificing one toothless man for another.

I love reading good-night stories to Carson and Maisy. We snuggle up together in bed, and usually stay that way until Jeremy wakes me up.

I love spending time with one kid at a time. Individually they are both delightful. Carson is such a conversationalist and so wise for his age. I love to talk to him. Maisy has such a unique and creative perspective. She is really smart too, just very different. She sees things so differently, but with an explanation is very clever. She might be an artist when she grows up.

I love the rare mispronunciations. As the kids get older, their speech is so accurate. But, I love the occasional mispronunciation. The latest was Maisy calling a Rice Krispy bar a Crusty bar.

I love the look in Carson's eye when he mentions that "special girl" in his class. He always looks at me, just waiting for me to say something. It is a predictable conversation when her name is spoken.

I love when Jeremy gets home from work...finally some back-up. Not much, but I'll take what I can get.

I love how Knox quits crying when he hears my voice.

I love taking care of my kids when they are sick, which I have done a lot of lately. It gives me an excuse to spoil just one of them.

I love when family comes to visit. It is so fun having them near, if only for a few days.

I love my baby's smell and noises. I think he is one of the 3 cutest babies ever.

I love giving him a bath. He loves the water and kicks like crazy!

I love his fat little thighs!

I love chocolate covered raisins and hot wings.

I love Sponge Bob and ICarly.

I love being a minivan driving, mother of three. It is crazy, but everything I have ever wanted!

I love my husband for working so hard for us, even though he is miserable. He is a good man.

I love who and where I came from.

Operation: Cupid's Surprise!

2010-02-14T06:27:00.001-08:00

After surprising Jeremy over lunch, the official execution of Operation: Cupid's Surprise was underway. I picked up the kids. I blindfolded them and took them back to the decorated hotel room. We swam, ate pizza, and watched the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. Then we got up and had the buffet breakfast. Carson kept telling me I was the best mom ever! Everyone, especially Jeremy, was shocked at my planning and ability to pull it all off! It was definitely a Valentine's Day to remember! I actually kept a secret and pulled off a surprise! That was a big deal for me. I loved every second!

Enjoying the Snow Day

2010-02-09T12:56:00.000-08:00

It was so nice to be home today. We all needed some time together. Jeremy is sick. Carson is battling another stomach treatment. Maisy loves her momma. Knoxy needs his momma. And, I needed time with my kids. We loved having time together. We went sledding, while Knox and Jeremy slept. We danced. We made homemade hot cocoa. We read books and slept. Today was the perfect snow day! I can work tomorrow.

Four Going on Fourteen

2010-02-03T14:46:00.001-08:00

Four...finally! I am hoping with four comes some relief. Three has been rough, but with good reason. Poor Maisy Kay has been through a lot this past year. While I complain at times about her antics, she has handled everything we have thrown at her like a champ. She is resilient, strong, and a very happy little girl.

She started her 3rd year in STL, in a new place, new home, and with new friends. She found out she was going to be a big sister, and then that it was a boy, which didn't make her happy at the time. She started preschool full time for the first time in her short life, that didn't make her happy right away either. Then her brother was born, whom she has adored since day one. We moved again. Just when she really started to like preschool, she had to quit to stay home with Knox and I and various family that helped out until the first of the year. Now she is home full time with a nanny. Those are a lot of adjustments. Most kids would be wetting their pants and throwing fits again, but not our girl, she gets up each day with a smile on her face, just waiting to see what the world has in store for her...or better yet, what she has in store for the world.

Some things I want to remember about Maisy being three are how she loves nothing more than for someone to sleep with her. She has the same routine every night. She tells me, "Good night. Love you, Mom. See you in the morning." By the time she gets to morning she is usually about to cry. You can hear it in her voice, but she never does. Then we kiss good night and hug. Then we do the whole routine at least two more times, sometimes more, before she lets me leave. I also want to remember her tiny little hands and fat little feet. I love them. I think they are the sweetest hands and feet ever. I can't imagine them fitting in heels, but they are cute now. I also want to remember how much she loves play-doh. She also started to enjoy coloring and her drawings are always so funny, usually upside down. Learning to ride her bike without training wheels was huge this year. She taught herself! The tires on her little bike were bald by winter, so she got a new one for her birthday. She loves both her brothers so much. She can fight with Carson like nothing I have ever seen, but tries to do everything he does. She mothers Knox like a little hen, but pushes the limits with what she should and shouldn't do with him. She has the biggest sweet tooth of any kid ever! She will sneak any treat she can find.

She is one in a million, my daughter. I can't wait to meet the woman growing inside her. Watch out world! She will be a force to be reckoned with!

Basketball Boy

2010-01-22T17:52:00.000-08:00

Carson just started basketball last week. It was a great first game. He is playing with 3rd graders, which seems to be a good fit. Jeremy is all for him being challenged versus ever feeling like he is actually good. I see the benefits in what he is trying to do, but there is such a short time in your life to feel good at something, that I wish that for Carson too. He is holding his own out there, so maybe he will get a challenge and end up feeling like the best player on the team. If you asked him, I am sure he would say he's the star of the team. I guess that is a good sign.

Below is a clip of Carson playing some killer defense. He has that part of the game down. He even got a little physical trying to keep track of his man. He scored a basket for the team too. I am anxious to see the improvements over the next few weeks. My favorite part is at the very beginning of the game. The lights go off and the players are all announced and run into the dark gym at center court with music blaring. It seems very NBA. It brought tears to my eyes hearing his name called like that. The first of many, I hope.

Knox is 3 Months Old

2010-01-13T16:43:00.000-08:00

Time flies when you're having fun! The last three months have passed so quickly. I can't believe my baby is so big. It makes me heart hurt. However, I am truly enjoying every second, even the multiple late night feedings. I love feeling the weight of his pudgy little body against mine, and I have come to love the smell of spit-up in my hair. His sweet grin melts my heart. The one thing that I hope to remember about Knox is his sweet disposition. He goes with the flow, wherever it takes him. He eats whatever and sleeps wherever. One thing that always makes me laugh is how he smiles and giggles at his mobile and car seat handle. He smiles at people now too. I was worried about that. I love my Mr. Knox. So does everyone else. He completes us!

It's Been a Year

2010-01-10T19:41:00.000-08:00

We moved to STL one year ago today. It is amazing how different our lives are now. So much has changed. Knox wasn't even a thought. We lived in a different house. I wasn't working, and both kids were home. Jeremy's job is our only constant, but even that is up in the air now.

The phrase, "Change is good." is wearing on me a bit. I love change and consider myself a fairly flexible person, but I have reached my limit. I am excited to be bored. 2009 was a bit much for all of us, I think. Hopefully 2010 and our new home will bring us the peace we are hoping for.

Below are the interview questions I asked the kids when we first moved here, along with their answers. I asked them the same questions again.

2 weeks

1. What do you think of Saint Louis?

Maisy-Good!

Carson-Mmmm...The Magic House is fun.

2. What do you think of our new house?

Carson-I love it!

Maisy-I love it.

3. Why do you love it?

Maisy-Because, I'm glad we moved here.

Carson-My new room is fun. I get a break from my sister. I like to listen to music and shoot baskets.

4. What is the best part about all the changes?

Carson-The yellow slide at the park.

Maisy-Being home with Momma and going down the green slide.

5. What do you miss most about our old home?

Maisy-I miss Ha Ha and Lori and Nanny.

Carson-I miss riding my bike in the middle of nowhere.

6. If you could pick where we would live, here or there, where would you pick?

Maisy-Here

Carson-There

1 Year

1. What do you think of Saint Louis?

Maisy-Good, because I have new friends.

Carson-Bad, because I want to go back home and swim at Mimi and Poppa's.

2. What do you think of our new house?

Carson-I like my black and gold room.

Maisy-Good...I like Jack coming over.

3. What is the best part about all the changes?

Carson-Nothing...

Maisy-We can go get gas and treats.

5. What do you miss most about our old home?

Maisy-swimming at Mimi and Poppa's

Carson-My friends

6. If you could pick where we would live, here or there, where would you pick?

Maisy-Here

Carson-There

Funny...the more things change, the more they seem the same.

As for me, we have made some wonderful friends here that have taken us in, like family. Although I still miss my real family, I am thankful that such kind people have come into our lives. I can't imagine my life without them. Catching up with Sarah and letting our girls play has been a real blessing. But, when I hear familiar voices from home, my heart still gets heavy. It is much easier to live here now. I just miss my peeps! A lot.

A Christmas to Remember...or not.

2009-12-28T18:58:00.000-08:00

Wow! We're home. It was a marathon weekend with presents, presents, and more presents... Vomit, vomit, and more vomit. Carson is dreadfully sick and has been since Christmas Eve. The poor baby missed every bit of fun, laid isolated in the corner of the room, and has reduced his body weight by 10% at least, which is a lot when you are as skinny as he already is. I have never felt so sorry for someone. Being 6 years old, there is nothing better than Christmas, and he missed it all.

Seeing Santa

2009-12-18T17:09:00.001-08:00

We got to eat pizza with Santa last weekend. Maisy asked for a cupcake maker and Leapster. Carson didn't know what he wanted, so said he would write as soon as he decided. That sure doesn't help Santa. This was the first year that Maisy would stand by Santa without crying. She is very excited and curious about Christmas. She has asked tons of questions about Jesus, Santa and the Elves.

Poor Phelps, our Elf on the Shelf, has seen and heard a lot. Jeremy picked Phelps up the other night and Carson cried and cried yelling, "You killed him!" In the book it says touching the elf takes away his magic. Maisy cared a less and asked if she could touch him now. Luckily Phelps survived.

My Little Angels

2009-12-06T10:06:00.001-08:00

I am a Lucky Lady!

2009-12-06T09:51:00.000-08:00

We are Thankful

2009-11-26T05:58:00.001-08:00

Knox is thankful for milk, his num-num, and bouncy seat.

Maisy is thankful for Santa and the Elves, Mommy, Florida, and the zoo.

Carson is thankful for America, his family, his house, electricity and Santa Claus.

I am thankful for my family (who I really miss today and everyday), friends (old and new alike, that make living here so much easier), technology (that allows us to at least see the people we miss and makes life better), our community (freedoms and safety, I can't imagine living without them), our health (Right now we are all strong and healthy.) and sleep (I really need more of it.).

Jeremy is thankful for family, life, and health.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-11-25T10:31:00.000-08:00

Lots going on this week!

2009-11-25T10:02:00.000-08:00

A night of dinner and dancing for Maisy and Nolan. Since we have moved, Maisy has really missed her buddy Nolan from across the street. Last night he came over to play and eat dinner. He brought Maisy a flower, which she happily accepted. They had a candle lit dinner and then to my surprise, I caught them dancing to music from a Christmas decoration. So cute! We miss Nolan!

This is Maisy's best friend, Nakita. I met her at Special Person Day. I was told that Maisy and Nakita enjoy each other's company so much that they had to be moved away from each other at circle time, permanently. As a teacher, I know what that means. Trouble!

Maisy had Special Person Day at her school this week. I was her special person! Knox stayed with a neighbor friend while I went to spend time with her at school. It was great! It is so nice to have individual time with each child. In isolation they are all perfect. It is the combination of them that gets difficult to manage. I predict this division of attention to be the most difficult part of having three kids, aside from the constant clutter and noise, of course.

Knox is 6 weeks old! He is really struggling with tummy issues right now. The last 2 days have been better though. I think the expensive Pepcid is working. Hopefully he will regain his title as Best Smith Baby soon. He recently turned the title back over to Carson.

A Visit from the Tooth Fairy

2009-11-20T19:51:00.001-08:00

Carson lost his first tooth this week! It was a traumatic event. He really did not enjoy it, but was somewhat obsessed at the same time. He was so afraid someone else was going to pull it. He walked around with a paper towel hanging out of his mouth when it bled. And when it finally did come out, he thought he swallowed it. Once we found it, he was surprised at how small it was.

I have decided the tooth fairy must also be using only credit these days. Either that or she was short on cash, because Carson got a movie from her. She probably had to dig into her Christmas stash to find a suitable item to leave him. Hopefully she will be better prepared for the next tooth. The first tooth is special, so a big gift is alright. However, a I think a dollar will do next time. She really needs to start carrying some cash! :)

Carson told me he heard the tooth fairy come into his room, but he closed his eyes so she wouldn't leave. When I asked him if he peeked at her, he said she was too fast. Whew! I am sure has to be fast to sneak under the pillow of a sleeping child. It probably made her really nervous. Maisy told me the tooth fairy had a long nose so she could smell the lost teeth and go find them.

Kids are so funny!

In Only One Month

2009-11-13T19:16:00.000-08:00

Knox is one month old today. I can't believe it. In so many ways he seems he has been part of our family forever, but at the same time, the month has flown by. I have enjoyed my time with him so much. I don't even mind the late night feedings. I just enjoy the peaceful time with him, no one else, no noise, just my sweet baby and me. I do miss the sleep, but it is worth it. He continues to be a good baby. He is starting to express himself though. He can really scream when he's hungry. He loves to eat, be held, and look at lights. He also knows my voice. I love the way he stares into my eyes. He is really alert, I think.

My ten favorite things about Knox at one month.

10. I love how he quiets down when he hears my voice.

9. I love the affect he has on Carson and Maison. I can get them to do anything to hold him.

8. His hair is so soft.

7. You never have to guess about needing to change his diaper. His "movements" are incredibly loud. They make me laugh.

6. I love how he feels against my skin...so warm and soft.

5. He looks at me so intently. I wonder what I look like to him.

4. I love how he squeezes my finger and holds onto my shirt.

3. He has a beautiful smile, even if they aren't intentional yet.

2. He makes the sweetest sighing sound after he sneezes. I LOVE it!

1. He is my baby, and he completes our family. I feel so blessed and whole.

Moving...Again

2009-11-05T19:29:00.001-08:00

It is the eve of the movers arrival. We are no where near ready. The new house is livable, but still requires some work. This house is a disaster. I can't imagine what tomorrow will bring.

Leaving this house is strange. While I am no where near attached (It never felt like home.), it is difficult leaving the little comfort zone we have created here. Even though the move is within the neighborhood, it still means new neighbors, new bus numbers...just more new. As I look back on the last year, the word new keeps repeating. I am so ready to create old and boring. In the last year, Jeremy has taken a new job, we moved to a new city, I took a new job, Carson and Maisy started new schools, we delivered a new baby, finished our new house, and are moving AGAIN. I am ready for 201o. I hope it brings a slow pace to our family. I am tired!

I will miss the great friends we have made on our street. I am hoping the blocks between us don't affect our friendship. They have become our family here. One set of neighbors are like old friends. We are the same age and feel like we have known each other for years. Another set is like an extra set of parents, always going out of their way to help and visit. The other family is busy, but constantly offering to help and checking in on us. I am so thankful to have met such wonderful people.

Off to bed! Tomorrow will be a long day and I know I will be up at least 3 times before then. Mr. Knox loves his late night snacks!

Rockin' Halloween!

2009-11-01T06:17:00.000-08:00

Halloween was fun! It was the first year we could actually trick-or-treat in our own neighborhood. Although we missed friends at home, we made the best of things. We walked in a parade, trick-or-treated around the neighborhood, and went to a neighbor's party. It was a great night!

Maisy and our neighbor Nolan had a great time, racing from one house to the next ringing the doorbell and knocking a thousand times at each door. They even let themselves in a couple of houses. She doesn't know a stranger. Carson was much more cautious. He only approached the doors with a group and rarely spoke. I guess we know who needs the Stranger Danger talk. Knox stayed at home with Nan and Pa. It violates my germ policy to have him out. He and I both celebrated the buttoning of our first pair of jeans since delivery, much more of a conquest for me than him. :)

Sweet Mr. Knox

2009-10-21T17:45:00.000-07:00

Day #2

He was an angel from birth. His lack of crying scared me after delivery, but his big, blue eyes assured me he was fine. Just like his brother, he was quietly alert from his first breath. He slept peacefully in the noisy hospital through hearing tests and even his circumcision. I waited for a beast to awaken, but we took home the best baby in the nursery.

Week #1

Now a week later, my boy is bigger, stronger, and even sweeter. He weighs over 8 pounds now, and is awake a little more each day. He continues to be peaceful, even when he is awake. Like right now, I am typing with one hand as he stares up at me from my other arm.

I am so thankful we decided to have one more baby. I am enjoying him so much, knowing it is the last time I will ever experience this myself. Granted there are some aspects of giving birth I am happy not to relive, but I cannot get enough of this sweet baby. His noises, grimaces, smell, and tiny features are being committed to memory forever. I said that with the other two, and the passage of time steals so much. I know they were just as perfect in my eyes. Love is truly blind.

Maison and Carson love their brother so much too. When Knox was born, I gave them each their own disposable camera to take pictures of him. Maisy took 28 of the 39 on the way to the hospital of the back of the car. Carson took his photography very seriously, and created a scrapbook and presentation to share with his classmates today. So sweet. I am a bit over the top with germ patrol right now, which really irritates them. I am just so scared of Knox getting sick. I think they get really annoyed with me. It won't be the last time for that.

Waiting for Baby...

2009-10-08T19:26:00.000-07:00

Here I sit, like a hen on her egg, waiting for my little chick. My belly is so big, hard, and low that I look like I swallowed a bowling ball. It is impossible to keep it covered because it pushes my pants down and my shirt up, not really an attractive look for someone of my proportions. Other than the list of physical discomforts, I am so ready to meet my new son.
He is currently nameless, but loved none-the-less. It is funny. I feel like I love him so much already and we haven't even met. I have no worries about having enough room in my heart for him. He already has his place. I just wonder what he will look and act like. I have both extremes now and wonder will he bring a third. What would that even be?
I don't ever want to forget the way it feels to have a baby resting below my heart. I read that line in a book and loved it. Jr. is positioned entirely on the right side of my belly, sunny-side-up. I have felt so many kicks and pushes this time around. At one point he was moving so much I wondered if something was wrong with him. He is really slowing down now that space is getting tight. I will always remember his little foot rubbing against my seat belt while I drove to work. It was just a little nub sticking out of my side. I can't wait to hold those little feet in my hands.
Hopefully I won't have to wait much longer.