It was a sad day. 9-11 brings tears to my eyes every year. This year was especially rough with the 10 year anniversary. Each big birthday for me will be a big anniversary for New York too. I guess the good thing is that I can never feel bad about being older. I am here, surrounded by the people I love, living a great life. I have nothing to complain about. I know that. I am thankful for each moment in this crazy house with these wild children and chill husband. While each day poses little challenges, the journey is so fun!
Turning 35 has definitely made me feel older. It seems each morning the reality of my increasing age becomes more visible in the mirror. I am the perfect victim for anti-aging creams and rubs. All those years of sun loving are catching up with me. It also seems my body is getting older. Aches and pains are more frequent. Right now I am nursing a foot with no explanation for all this pain! I have decided I am not going to let this get to me. I have decided to fight aging with everything I've got. While I am sure it won't matter, it makes me feel better to think all the miles of running, hours at the gym, and wasted dollars on chemicals will do something.
My new reason for writing, especially about myself, is for Maisy. I hope some day when she is 35 and I am officially ancient, I can pull out these blog entries and relate to her as a woman, young mother, and friend. I would love to hear what my mom had to say about raising kids and living life when she was 35. She recounts a lot of stories, but I know a lot of the day to day gets lost with time. So, for you Maisy, I write.
Juggling family, work, and self is such a challenge. There is truly never enough time...not enough to clean the house, prepare for work, cuddle with your kids, or even run errands. I am constantly prioritizing necessity versus want, immediate versus things that can wait. The To Do list is endless. But, I am realizing that it is okay. I would love to clone myself just to be more efficient. By Fridays I am exhausted! I am happy though. I truly enjoy my job, feel like a happy mom, and am carving out small moments for myself. Working again has given me the ability to "let it go". It is still hard for me, but I am getting better at it and at delegating responsibility or asking for help.
Most importantly at 35 I feel Full. I have everything I could have ever wanted. 2 boys and a girl, a faithful, good husband, and friends and family that would be there for me when I needed them. My birthday wish is for you, Maisy Kay, I wish for you to feel your fullness at 35, whatever that might be for you.
