Countdown is on

It is the night before Maison's tea party. She is turning two. However, I feel like I am preparing for a sweet sixteen party. Actually, it is nothing elaborate, but every detail takes time and energy, of which I am running short on both. At midnight, before our 10:00 party, I am stained in food coloring from the purple icing, exhausted from cleaning things that I will just have to re-clean tomorrow, and wondering if anyone even cares. I know Maisy doesn't. She just wants to put on her flashy pink princess dress and play with her friends. Carson thinks the whole thing is gross. He is way into the whole "boy/girl" thing right now, and the tea party is too girly. Jeremy thinks I am crazy, and therefore refuses to assist with anything that feeds into my birthday fantasy. So, it's just me. Honestly, it is better that way.

Their birthdays are always hard for me. It puts the passage of time into a much unneeded reality. It goes too fast. Although nothing with Maisy has been easy and I pray that each stage will be smoother than the last, it has gone too fast. She is such a little girl now. Talking so much and opinionated. The doctor called her particular when I said cranky, during our colic phase. And it fits, she is still particular. I worked so hard to get her to take a binky. I had to have bought every kind known to man before she took one. She has one book, that I dread reading, which is her absolute favorite. Nothing else will do. Each night it is a certain blanket that she wants to be covered up with, but it is never the same one. She keeps me on my toes. I just can't believe she is almost two.

Even though I am tired, crabby at times, and our house is cluttered constantly, I would freeze time right now for awhile. Just to be here a little bit longer. To be needed, kissed so hard it hurts, and to hear those little feet race across the floor behind me. I wish I could learn to appreciate each day for what it truly is and not be so caught up in the rat race that I miss things. I will definitely make sure I enjoy every minute of our last weekend with our busy one year old. On Tuesday, she will be two.