We Made IT!

As the end of the school year approaches and repreve from my hectic, crazy schedule is in sight, I want to document the struggles of the last year. I want to remember how difficult it has been, so in the future I can look back and clearly remember that WE DID IT! It was very difficult to not write I DID IT, but I recognize each member in the family played a key role in our survival. It was not just me. At times it sure felt like it though.

At the beginning of the school year, hugely pregnant and uncomfortable, I sat over my laptop after the kids were in bed crying about the uncertainty in what I was going to teach the next day. The job I accepted, prior to knowledge of Knox, was an incredible amount of work, and required a HUGE learning curve. Going from part-time to full-time in a new district, in a brand new program added to the stress. But, with the help of my co-workers and family, I made it until October...and Knox was born. Both Carson and Maison were very mature about the transitions required of them. Maisy went to full day preschool 5 days a week, and had never been away from me or her brother like that. Carson started a new school and went to before school care, where he knew no one at first. Neither of them really liked their situations, but did it each day. Jeremy worked hard dealing with crazy employees and a struggling office, while holding me at night as I cried. So, we pulled together and greeted our baby with open arms. Even that required strength of spirit though.

With no family in town our amazing neighbors took the kids while we had Knox. Jeremy stayed at home with them each night, sneaking over before work, on his lunch hour, and with the kids in the evening to see us at the hospital. It was an emotional stay. I missed my husband, my kids, and my mom. But, we made it. Our reality waited for us at home. "Home" was in transition at the time. We had been working on our "Money Pit" the last couple of months, and started packing up the rental house so we could move the first of November. I was determined to move over my maternity leave. I wanted things somewhat settled before the holidays and my return to work. Knox was an angel baby. He ate and slept just as a newborn should. He loved his sling, and I used that to my advantage, keeping him close, but my hands free. Carson and Maison both adored him, which made the leap from 2 to 3 kids easy, for the time being.

We moved into our new home the first weekend in November. We did it alone. It was an incredibly long weekend and it took numerous trips back and forth to get everything, but we did it too. The house looked great. We were really happy with our work. About a month later, I returned to work. Jeremy, his parents and mine stayed with Knox to get us to Christmas break. That made leaving him easier. It put my work in perspective too. I no longer had the energy for late night tantrums in achieving the perfect lesson, since there was a baby to feed at least twice each night.

Jeremy's front tooth fell out at dinner the day before Christmas Eve, which led to an unbelievably long restoration process involving an implant and bone graphs. He will have his new tooth sometime before next Christmas. This Christmas was spent at home, just us. Carson got dreadfully sick. He had the worst stomach flu I have ever seen. He started throwing up on Christmas Eve, numerous times. He ended up in the ER and having blood work done a week later, but thankfully he was okay. We left for the MO tour on Christmas Day, because we thought Carson was better. Halfway there he began vomiting in the backseat and continued for the rest of the week. Luckily no one else caught the dreaded bug. But everyone took their turn later in the season. Carson three times. Maison three times.

After the holidays, we settled into a winter routine. Work, eat, sleep...just not enough time in the day. I truly don't know how we did it. Jeremy refereed several nights, so it was rough. Somewhere in here Jeremy's company merged with a competitor, making his job security questionable. One saving grace in the chaos was our nanny. She did so much to help. She emptied the dishwasher, cleaned, and stayed late when needed. Most importantly, she loved my kids. They loved her too. I know without a doubt I would not have made it to May without her. (Thank you for sending her to us. Bless her for her kindness.)

Work continued to be a huge stress for both Jeremy and I. It was a difficult stretch for us, as a couple. Both so absorbed in our own struggles, unable and then unwilling to help the other. Marriage is a beautiful thing, but hard work. We just didn't have anything left for that. In fact, until recently, we had not been out alone since before Knox was born. Pretty sad. Aside from a repeatedly breaking refrigerator, no air conditioning the hottest week this season, some car issues, and an unsellable house things are looking up.

School is out. I am unemployed and so glad. It has been a busy 2 weeks, but I have gotten so much done. Most importantly, I am finding my way back to myself, my kids, and my husband. My admiration goes out to those women who work and support a family. It is very hard, and very few men will truly ever understand how difficult it is to keep all those balls in the air. I am thankful I have the opportunity to be home and recover from the stress of the last year. I am proud of what we have accomplished here, but feel 20 years older because of it. I am grateful for my children for loving me through it all. Some days it took all the strength I had to leave them sleeping as I crept off to work before dawn. I hope we all appreciate waking up together the next couple of years.

WE MADE IT!