Lasts?

I bought a good book called Let Me Hold You Longer a few years ago. There is a link to it on the left. It is a tearful reminder to remember the lasts. I have learned over the years that the lasts are as significant as the firsts. But, the lasts are unexpected and usually unrecognized until they are over and done. They are usually not celebrated like the firsts either. But, come with many tears, that is for sure.

With every bottle I give Knox, I think this should be the last. But, having nursed him for so long, I love giving him a bottle. It is the only peaceful time I get with him, since he is such a busy boy. I will know when it is the last bottle, and I will savor every minute with a good cry. With Maison I wonder, "Will this be the last night she begs me to sleep with her?" Sometimes I secretly hope so, because by that time of night I am ready for a break. But, when that last night comes, I won't know. I hope I get the chance to sleep with her on that last night. She closes her eyes and smiles so sweetly as she cuddles up to me. She always has to hold my hand. Why would I ever deny her that? I feel like with Carson we are on the brink of so many lasts. Last Christmas for Santa for one, which completely breaks my heart. I love seeing the magic of Christmas sparkle in his eyes. Today he did something that made me tear up knowing it could be a last. He was leaving with Jeremy for a basketball game. I gave him his "Go get 'em" talk, and he was off. But, at the door he turned around and came back to find me. He gave me a kiss and said, "See 'ya, Mom." That might have been the last unprompted sweet good-bye for awhile. Ahh...my little prince. Let me hold you longer.