As I lay here 4 deep in my bed, I realize how few of these nights I have left. Aside from the locust outside, the sounds of my 3 kids sleeping fill the room. Sometimes it is a snore or a moan. Other times a complete conversation. All 3 of them talk in their sleep, but Maisy is the worst. I am saddened by how fleeting these moments are. It won't be long and we all won't fit in this bed, even if we want to. Already Carson and Maison fight over who is taking up the most space. Knox cries if he has to sleep by the window, which means no one else gets to sleep by me, that makes the big kids mad. It has made me think about all the things I will miss about having little children. Here are my most recent realizations.
I will miss holding hands. I love being able to put my hand out and know someone will grab it. I don't need to say anything. Just a subtle upturned palm is all it takes. Carson is already a no-go on the hand holding, except in Chicago. He did hold my hand there. He said he knew he wouldn't see anyone he knew.
Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy will all be deeply missed. I won't elaborate for fear of prying eyes.
Being able to truly make it better. I can do that now. With Knox it just takes a kiss, and he is good to go. For Maisy it is just a reassuring conversation and to lay with her at night. Carson needs his back tickled and all is right with the world. I wish it could always be that easy.
I will miss their innocence so much. All 3 of them ask the best questions and see the world through such pure eyes. As they age the questions have become more complicated and messy. I love pondering why waves crash and where the sky ends. How do fireworks change color or why God made bees sting? Or, what makes a word a bad word?
Bedtime...while it is typically a nightly nightmare. I will miss tucking in. All 3 kids have to have a kiss good-night in their bed or they will not go to sleep. Some nights to stall sleep, they shout, "Love you, Mom." "Love you, Dad." All though everyone, each kid...regular Walton Family.
Piggy back rides...
Make believe...
bath time...
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